Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"Onward to Taormino!" or "Trish's Very Sad Day"

Since we were ahead of schedule, Giovanni decided to take a detour up another crazy, winding road to the mountaintop village of Castelmola which overlooks Taormina and the ocean.  Ooh.  Aah.

Check out our effervescent smiles.  Not.  I told you we were tired.  Check out Trish's "if-you-don't-take-the-picture-right-now-I'm-going-to-punch-you-in-the-crotch" sneer.  If it weren't for the magnificent views, we'd be laid out asleep on that stone bench instead of getting ready to throw the photographer over the ledge.  You should also take a good look at Trish's fancy camera 'cause that's the last time you'll ever see it.  Peeked your interest?  Read on. 

Juan wins the award for "Best Attempt at a Smile."  The Castel, now a restaurant, hovers in the background.

Attempt #2, not quite as successful.  But look at that view!

Like Positano, Castelmola sits right on the edge of the mountain.

This sorry excuse for a road is the way up to Castelmola.  Believe it or not, we actually spotted people walking up the mountain on this road in full tourist attire (shorts, baseball cap, sneaks and camera hanging around their neck).  Hello!?  I have just two words for you - heat stroke.

After our pit stop, Giovanni drove us down to the gates of Taormina.  The majority of the city is off limits to cars, so Giovanni dropped us off and told us he'd be back in a few hours to pick us up at the gate on the opposite side of town.  For the rest of the day, we were on our own to explore the city.

Trish gives her best Heidi Klum in front of the Minotaur Fountain.  I think the lady to the right has just spotted a zombie!

I'm getting fresh with one of the fountain horses.

On recommendation from Giovanni, we wandered off the beaten path to La Dracena restaurant for a well-deserved lunch (that itty-bitty yellow and green sign is the entrance).  We ate in a secluded little balcony under the shade of a Dracena tree (hence the restaurant's name) in a nearly empty restaurant.  Dad had a local beer which he loved.  The food - especially the antipasti - was excellent, the setting was quiet and the service was super laid-back. 

Shortly after we sat down, the restaurant shut its gates for the afternoon.  Like South America, some, though not all of the stores here close for a brief siesta mid-afternoon.  Since we were all so tired, we decided to join the locals and do nothing but eat and drink for the next hour or so. 

Taormina is famous for its cannolis, so of course, we needed to judge for ourselves.  Though the flavor is similar to our American version, it's definitely creamier and lighter than the lead-weight bombs you find down in Little Italy.  According to our waitress, the difference is in the fresh ricotta cheese and pistachios.   Whatever.  All I know is it's delish.

Mom and I celebrate her making it back up all the stairs from the restaurant.  On a side note, I definitely need to keep that t-shirt. It makes me look thin and like I actually have a chest.

Juan is really happy to be sitting in the shade of San Nicola Chuch, across from the Minotaur Fountain.  Val's just happy that she gets internet access.

Another pretty street in Taormina.

Can you find mom and dad? 

There they are, smack dab in the center of the photo on the bench in front of the beautiful Church of San Pancrazio.

These are just some of the buildings and homes you can spy on from the overlook just in front of San Pancrazio Church.  It's just not right that anyone is allowed to live like this.  Not fair! 

Above, notice the sickeningly quaint and freakishly clean main drag in Taormina.  With all those tourists it looks like the Italian Pavilion in Epcot Center.  Come on, where's the local grit?  The huddled masses yearning to breathe free!? The wretched refuse?!!  Oh, wait, there.  The wretched refuse is running away with Trish's $500 camera and 900+ vacation photos!

Yes, folks, the Pinedas got camera-jacked.  As Trish headed down one of these lovely Disney streets searching for bargains, a guy pretending to jump out of the way of a car knocked into her hard, apologized and walked off.  With her camera!  It wasn't until we got back to the ship that she even noticed it was gone, thinking she had shoved it into her shoulder bag.

The moral of the story?  When on vacation, download your photos to your laptop often - or at least daily. 

On a happier note, after several days of frustrated searching, we finally found a store selling Fruit Joy.  So we loaded up on the sugary, chewy treats so we'd have a supply for the rest of our trip.

Another fake-looking street.

Barf.  It just gets quainter and more charming.  And yes, I'm just bitter because my street in Queens is no where near as nice.

Who's that handsome devil outlined by that pastel sunset?  Oh, it's just little ol' me!

Tonight's towel animal appears to be a rabbit.  But take a closer look at its nose.  Does that look like what I think it looks like?

This Afternoon's Itinerary:
Drive up to Castelmola
Drop off at Taormina
Mom and dad light some candles in Church of San Nicola
Lunch at La Dracena
Shopping and exploring downtown
I purchase my second vacation hat, a stylish straw-weave newsboy cap
Trish gets her camera stolen
Drive back to Messina via local coast road to check out the beaches

Previous Day at Pompeii and Amalfi Coast

Another Volcano...

We've been revving on all cylinders for 3 days straight, disembarking all over Italy, racing to see the most famous sites within the tiny 8-hour window we have in each port.  We're exhausted, but still have one more stop before a well-deserved rest day at sea.  We pulled into the port of Messina (above) on the island of Sicily - at the boot's toe - early Wednesday morning. 

Like the previous ports, we met our driver, Giovanni, at the end of the gangway after pushing our way past the obnoxious ship's photographers.  Seriously, is there a difference between a gangway picture in Livorno (Pisa/Florence) and a gangway picture in Messina (Sicily)?  Methinks not.  Just another excuse to try and sell us a cheesy $30 8x10 photo. 

Today's first stop is Mount Etna, one of Italy's three active volcanoes.  We already paid a visit to the first (and most famous), Mount Vesuvius, yesterday.  Giovanni noticed our groggy silence - did I mention we were tired? - and pretty much kept quiet for most of the drive, interjecting a random fact here and there in broken English.  His accent was horrendous and we ended up just nodding in approval at everything he said just so he'd stop talking.  

Having had her fill of beautiful countryside, Val decided to focus on Giovanni's speedometer as we hit 150 kph (93 mph).  It's exciting watching the blurry roadway whiz by us.  So what if we end up as a flaming ball of metal in one of the dozens of highway tunnels along the way.

Mount Etna is over 10,000 feet tall, so the winding drive up the side of the volcano took a while.  Luckily, as we have for most of the trip, we beat the tourist groups to the top.  With a private car and guide meeting us in each port, we've not had to wait for tour check-ins or bus delays like our fellow cruisers who booked excursions through the ship.  Suckers!

Anyway, the road up the volcano was deserted, as was the restaurant we stopped at near the summit.  Granted, it was well before 9:00 AM on a Wednesday morning.  Above, I'm enjoying a delightful snack that you can only find in this region, a pistachio cream-filled croissant.  Delicious.  Though the filling sort of resembles baby diarrhea.

Since Etna and the surrounding region is known for its world-famous pistachios, Trish and I grabbed bottles of pistachio pesto and honey from the gift shop for some home consumption before heading out to check on the views.  From 10,000 feet everything seems so tiny.

No, I did not take this picture for the car.  If you look closely, you can see the ski lift way in the background.  That's the only way to get all the way up to the active crater of Etna.  We opted to hang back and admire the molten lava from afar (not to mention the lift tickets were damn expensive).  All that black earth is volcanic soil.

This crater is no longer active, so we headed over for a closer look.

Here we are, at the lip of the crater above.

The sky is so blue!  And I am so fat!  No more pistachio croissants for Fausto!

Here's another little inactive crater.  They are everywhere.

After exploring for a couple of hours, we headed back down the crater.  We took a detour into this lovely vineyard for a panoramic view of Etna.  It's so beautiful it almost looks fake, doesn't it?  Next stop, Taormina, "The Godfather" City.

This Morning's Itinerary:
Dock in Port of Messina and meet driver - Giovanni
Drive along coast highway to Mount Etna
Explore dead craters
Drive to Taormina

Afternoon in Taormina
Previous day in Pompeii and Amalfi Coast

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Amalfi Coast, Positano and Sorrento

Ah, Sorrento.  We left Naples and the ashes of Pompeii behind us and headed for the hills.  After a stomach-churning drive up the snaking two-lane Sorrento Coast road, Paulo took us up to a tiny church off the main "highway" (I use the term loosely as the terrain doesn't permit expansion past a narrow two lanes).  We ascended through some olive groves and up a one-lane road, honking at each blind curve lest we smash head-on into one of the many compact fiats whizzing about, until we literally reached the end of the road.  Yes, scary, but worth the eventual view. 

Behind us are the cliffs of Sorrento.  Paulo grew up on these mountains so we were lucky enough to enjoy this private vantage without having to fight off other tourists for prime photo real estate.  Yes, Val might look friendly, but for the perfect picture, she'd cut a b*tch.

This is the cute little church opposite of where we're standing above (Paulo stood on its steps to take the picture above).  Imagine walking out of mass and out into that view.  It would almost make it worth going to church - almost.  After much "ooh"-ing and "ahh"-ing, we piled back into the Mercedes mini-van and headed for Positano via the famous Amalfi Coast road (listed in National Geographic's new book, Drives of a Lifetime, as one of the world's greatest road trips.  I'd say THE number one greatest road trip).

Here's a shot looking down one of the dizzying, narrow village roads.  Positano is literally a vertical city, with buildings stacked one on top of each other all the way up the side of the mountains.  It's really like nothing I've ever seen or experienced, with roads carved out of sheer cliffs.  Unlike in the picture above, most roads had a sheer stone wall on one side and just a shoulderless, short stone barrier separating you from an excruciatingly painful death on the cliffs below.  If you're acrophobic and/or claustrophobic, stay far away from Positano, because there's only one way to get there and it's down this road.

The constant fear of falling to one's death surely works up one's appetite.  So when Paulo suggested we do a leisurely sit-down lunch at a nice, family restaurant overlooking Positano, we quickly said "Yes."  Once again, we headed up a tiny one-lane road even further up into the mountains, finally stopping at a tiny wooden gate with the simple sign above hanging from a tree.

We climbed down some stone steps where the Rosemary that was soon to garnish our lunch was sprouting from the wall and greeted by...

...this incredible view from our table.  Yes, we dined al fresco, enjoying this spectacular view.  Jealous much?

For 25 Euro a person, we dined on a home-cooked, three-course, multi-dish feast (we're talking bread and antipasto followed by 8 or 9 different appetizers and four different homemade pastas followed by dessert) with unlimited wine and yeah, that ridiculous view.

Here I am enjoying my second (or maybe sixth or ninth) glass of wine.  I certainly do look happy.

No glass required for mom.  Just hand her the bottle.

Amalfi is known for its limoncello.  So of course, our dessert course started with free shots of the yummy lemon liquor.  Once again, mom showed us she could still party like a rock star and opted to chug it straight from the bottle, provided happily by mama's very cute son who also happened to be one of our hosts. 

How did we know our meal was being prepared fresh by mama (yes, when we asked who the chef was, the staff simply answered "mama")?  Because it was an open kitchen and we could literally watch her prepare our dishes.  Of course, we had to thank mama personally for the extraordinary meal, so we called her out from the kitchen for a picture with our very own mama. 

These are just a sampling of some of the dessert plates presented to us at the end of our meal.  The food was so good I almost forgot about the beautiful view of Positano just behind me.  No worries, after the meal we still managed to haul our fat asses back up the stairs and were again greeted by glorious views...

...like this one.  Here's mom striking a drunken pose.  We're actually standing on the roof of the restaurant where we just dined.  Like most buildings in Positano, you have to either enter from above or below.

Dad and Trish are soaking in some rays as well as the view.

After driving back down to the center of town, Paulo let us out of the car for some exploring time in Positano.  We made it down to the beach where we couldn't help but stand slack-jawed and in awe of this beautiful city.  Looks like something straight out of a James Bond movie, no? 

Here's another view of the beach.  As beautiful as it looks in these pictures, it was a thousand times more beautiful in person. 
Val and I couldn't resist taking our shoes off and wading in paradise.  We swore when we win the Mega Millions, we're retiring here (which means never).

Here I am with my newly purchase chapeau, wandering the vine-covered streets of Positano.

Here's Trish on the beach. 

It was indeed sad to jump back into the van and drive away.  But we had one more stop before heading back to Naples and our ship - the town of Sorrento.  I made another promise to Val - when I get married, we're coming back to Positano and holding the ceremony here (which again, means never).   Hey, a girl can dream, right? 

As crazy as this sounds, especially seeing these pictures, Sorrento was a bit of a let down after Positano.  It's basically the difference between "stunningly beautiful paradise" and just plain "beautiful paradise".  Sorrento is built on the top of a cliff that plunges into the ocean.  Standing by the cliff wall (like mom above in her stylish outfit) you can look down to see...

...Sorrento's version of the beach.  Look how clear that water is.  Not like the cloudy, syringe-filled waters of the East Coast.  What the Sorrento shore lacks in sand it makes up for in style and cleanliness.

Trish and I are smiling through jealous tears at the beach goers lounging below us.  Mount Vesuvius is hovering just above us on the left.

We dash down one of the tiny Sorrento streets for last minute shopping and to pick-up all things limon - including soap, liquor and yes, even chocolates - before heading back to the ship.

Our driver and guide Paulo with mom - now friends for life after presenting mom a bottle of free booze.

Trish also gets a hug and more free booze from our guide.  Oh those Italians, always flirting with the ladies. 

Tonight's towel animal greets us in our cabin after a full day on the Amalfi Coast.

This Afternoon's Itinerary:
Drive Amalfi Coast road to Positano
Lunch at Fattoria la Tagliata
Exploring Positano on foot
Drive to Sorrento
Exploring Sorrento on foot
Drive back to Port of Naples
Shopping at port shops
Purchase pair of shoes #2 of seven

"I'd rather be nine people's favorite thing thana hundred people's ninth favorite thing."

Jeff Bowen, Lyrics "[Title of Show]"