Why Are the Cowboys Dancing?: Amalfi Coast, Positano and Sorrento

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Amalfi Coast, Positano and Sorrento

Ah, Sorrento. We left Naples and the ashes of Pompeii behind us and headed for the hills. After a stomach-churning drive up the snaking two-lane Sorrento Coast road, Paulo took us up to a tiny church off the main "highway" (I use the term loosely as the terrain doesn't permit expansion past a narrow two lanes). We ascended through some olive groves and up a one-lane road, honking at each blind curve lest we smash head-on into one of the many compact fiats whizzing about, until we literally reached the end of the road. Yes, scary, but worth the eventual view.

Behind us are the cliffs of Sorrento. Paulo grew up on these mountains so we were lucky enough to enjoy this private vantage without having to fight off other tourists for prime photo real estate. Yes, Val might look friendly, but for the perfect picture, she'd cut a b*tch.

This is the cute little church opposite of where we're standing above (Paulo stood on its steps to take the picture above). Imagine walking out of mass and out into that view. It would almost make it worth going to church - almost. After much "ooh"-ing and "ahh"-ing, we piled back into the Mercedes mini-van and headed for Positano via the famous Amalfi Coast road (listed in National Geographic's new book, Drives of a Lifetime, as one of the world's greatest road trips. I'd say THE number one greatest road trip).

Here's a shot looking down one of the dizzying, narrow village roads. Positano is literally a vertical city, with buildings stacked one on top of each other all the way up the side of the mountains. It's really like nothing I've ever seen or experienced, with roads carved out of sheer cliffs. Unlike in the picture above, most roads had a sheer stone wall on one side and just a shoulderless, short stone barrier separating you from an excruciatingly painful death on the cliffs below. If you're acrophobic and/or claustrophobic, stay far away from Positano, because there's only one way to get there and it's down this road.

The constant fear of falling to one's death surely works up one's appetite. So when Paulo suggested we do a leisurely sit-down lunch at a nice, family restaurant overlooking Positano, we quickly said "Yes." Once again, we headed up a tiny one-lane road even further up into the mountains, finally stopping at a tiny wooden gate with the simple sign above hanging from a tree.

We climbed down some stone steps where the Rosemary that was soon to garnish our lunch was sprouting from the wall and greeted by...

...this incredible view from our table. Yes, we dined al fresco, enjoying this spectacular view. Jealous much?

For 25 Euro a person, we dined on a home-cooked, three-course, multi-dish feast (we're talking bread and antipasto followed by 8 or 9 different appetizers and four different homemade pastas followed by dessert) with unlimited wine and yeah, that ridiculous view.

Here I am enjoying my second (or maybe sixth or ninth) glass of wine. I certainly do look happy.

No glass required for mom. Just hand her the bottle.

Amalfi is known for its limoncello. So of course, our dessert course started with free shots of the yummy lemon liquor. Once again, mom showed us she could still party like a rock star and opted to chug it straight from the bottle, provided happily by mama's very cute son who also happened to be one of our hosts.

How did we know our meal was being prepared fresh by mama (yes, when we asked who the chef was, the staff simply answered "mama")? Because it was an open kitchen and we could literally watch her prepare our dishes. Of course, we had to thank mama personally for the extraordinary meal, so we called her out from the kitchen for a picture with our very own mama.

These are just a sampling of some of the dessert plates presented to us at the end of our meal. The food was so good I almost forgot about the beautiful view of Positano just behind me. No worries, after the meal we still managed to haul our fat asses back up the stairs and were again greeted by glorious views...

...like this one. Here's mom striking a drunken pose. We're actually standing on the roof of the restaurant where we just dined. Like most buildings in Positano, you have to either enter from above or below.

Dad and Trish are soaking in some rays as well as the view.

After driving back down to the center of town, Paulo let us out of the car for some exploring time in Positano. We made it down to the beach where we couldn't help but stand slack-jawed and in awe of this beautiful city. Looks like something straight out of a James Bond movie, no?

Here's another view of the beach. As beautiful as it looks in these pictures, it was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

Val and I couldn't resist taking our shoes off and wading in paradise. We swore when we win the Mega Millions, we're retiring here (which means never).

Here I am with my newly purchase chapeau, wandering the vine-covered streets of Positano.

Here's Trish on the beach.

It was indeed sad to jump back into the van and drive away. But we had one more stop before heading back to Naples and our ship - the town of Sorrento. I made another promise to Val - when I get married, we're coming back to Positano and holding the ceremony here (which again, means never). Hey, a girl can dream, right?

As crazy as this sounds, especially seeing these pictures, Sorrento was a bit of a let down after Positano. It's basically the difference between "stunningly beautiful paradise" and just plain "beautiful paradise". Sorrento is built on the top of a cliff that plunges into the ocean. Standing by the cliff wall (like mom above in her stylish outfit) you can look down to see...

...Sorrento's version of the beach. Look how clear that water is. Not like the cloudy, syringe-filled waters of the East Coast. What the Sorrento shore lacks in sand it makes up for in style and cleanliness.

Trish and I are smiling through jealous tears at the beach goers lounging below us. Mount Vesuvius is hovering just above us on the left.

We dash down one of the tiny Sorrento streets for last minute shopping and to pick-up all things limon - including soap, liquor and yes, even chocolates - before heading back to the ship.