Don Giovanni w/ Netrebko's baby-daddy

I admit it. The #1 reason I went to see the Met’s current production of Don Giovanni was to catch “Hott Schrott” (aka Anna Natrebko’s baby-daddy) shirtless. I mean for Pete’s sake, it’s the Metropolitan Opera. How often does half-naked eye candy cross that stage? Sure, they have their ballet dancers, but this is an opera singer. You heard me right, an opera singer. And a straight one at that - surely a sign of the Apocalypse. I wanted proof that this unicorn actually exists. Anyhoo, the Met knows when to exploit a good thing, because we only had to wait for his first entrance to catch the shirtless baritone virtually humping poor (or lucky?) Donna Anna (a beautifully-voiced Krassimira Stoyanova) on the long staircase that dominates the first act set. And damn, he's also got a huge . . . voice - though it seemed a bit unfocused last night. He plays pompous great, but if the gossip columns are to be believed, he's just playing himself. Regardless, he was an impressive and well-cast Giovanni.

But the real surprise of the evening - oxymoron alert - was the handsome Leporello, Ildebrando D'Arcangelo. Can you imagine two hottie baritones singing at the Met in the same production? Times sure have changed. When I was studying voice at conservatory, my teachers told me it was OK to carry some spare padding around the middle for added resonance. I guess I can't use that as an excuse anymore. Regardless, D'Arcangelo was funny and charming and possesses a large, warm, round voice. Hope to see more of him in the future.

Donna Anna's bell-like soprano - pure, clear and perfectly placed - was matched by lyric tenor, Matthew Polenzani, who impressed with endless legato phrasing. He never seemed to breathe. Unfortunately, mezzo Susan Graham, in the demanding role of Donna Elvira, didn't fare as well. Although a large voice, she always seemed to be pushing and often sang under pitch. The role is definitely not a good match for her. And given her fach, I'm surprised that she even considered performing it.

The physical production was bare, but adequate. And the staging, at least the first act, was better than usual for the Met (i.e. no "park and bark"). I would even say it was clever and original. But that second act? What were they thinking. It was as if they spent all their time rehearsing the first act and all of a sudden found themselves at opening night without having rehearsed the second act. The graveyard scene was totally lame. No better than your neighbor's front lawn Halloween display. It basically consisted of a stone grave that spit out pathetic wafts of smoke every time the (offstage?) voice of the Commendatore sang. I want my big stone statue coming to life, dammit!

Giovanni's descent into hell was even more disappointing. I mean, come on, this is the Met. Where were the flames? the pyrotechnics? the excitement? They actually made the Commendatore sing behind a plexiglass wall so his entire last scene sounded like he was singing into a paper bag - all muffled and dead. And I say they made him do it, because no singer in his right mind would agree to sing behind a wall knowing he'd have to fill a cavern the size of the Met. And then it snowed. WTF? It snowed for his descent into hell? Made no sense at all. And it wasn't like he was dragged down into hell. He literally stepped in front of the Commendatore and seemed to willingly be sucked into the floor. Slowly. Really slowly. I mean, he could have totally stepped off that platform, condsidering the glacial pace it was descending into the floor, and saved himself from eternal damnation. Oh well, I guess I can't complain. Half a good production is better than nothing.