33 Variations 3/26

First, I have to say that Jane Fonda looks f*cking amazing for 62! Her plastic surgeon deserves every penny he over-charged her. She may be a hot mess up close, but from row S - stunning. As for the play, I give it a solid B+. Moises Kaufman seems drawn to this type of heavily researched history-based drama (having previously co-written The Laramie Project and directed the Tony winning I Am My Own Wife on Broadway). The parallel between Fonda’s character and Beethoven is perhaps a bit heavy-handed - genius racing to complete final masterwork before fatal disease knocks him out vs. intellectual racing to complete final thesis before fatal disease knocks her out. But the performances and the development of the relationships, particularly between the mother and daughter and the daughter and her boyfriend, made you overlook the worn dramatic device. And finally, hurray! - live music in the form of an actual human being performing the work in question, Beethoven’s 33 Variations on a waltz by Diabelli, rather than piped in sound cues.

Fonda, as I think I made clear earlier, looks fantastic and has definite star presence and fine stage chops. She needs to jog down the block to Impressionism and give Joan Allen some pointers. Sorry, I love me some Miss Joan (on the big screen) but she needs some work on her stage technique. But Susan Kellerman as an uptight German professor with a hidden soft side, nearly steals the show. Her scene about hiring a prostitute to help Fonda’s character feel “alive” again is worth the ticket price (although we only paid TDF prices). I admit, being a child of the 80’s, I kept thinking of Inga Swenson’s Nazi-like German maid, Gretchen Kraus, from "Benson" all through the first act. But once I let nostalgia drift away, I was able to better concentrate on her no-nonsense characterization. Colin Hanks (aka spawn of Tom Hanks) was quite good, too, in what could have been a forgettable secondary role and as Trish mentioned to me on exiting, “Doesn’t look as busted up close.”

On a side note, since we’re only a few weeks away from the Broadway Easter Bonnet Competition, Fonda announced that actors would be standing at the exit of the theater with buckets to collect donations for Broadway Cares / Equity Fights Aids. So of course, we brushed right by all the nobody’s and straight up to Colin Hanks’ bucket. If I’m going to give up one of Trish’s dollars, I want to at least get a close up look at a movie-star-by-association. Trish’s friend, Billy, is a huge “admirer” of Mr. Hanks. As soon as we left the theatre, Trish immediately sent Billy the following text. “My hand was inches away from Colin Hanks’ penis and he said ‘thank you very much.’” We almost went with the tamer, “My hand was in Colin Hanks’ bucket and he said ‘thank you very much,’” - but we went for the more explicit.