Spring and Swine

Ah! Flip-flops and shorts, buds on the trees and the first surgical mask sighting of the season. Spring is here! On my way to work this morning, a lady dashed off the subway looking like she was prepped for an appendectomy on the platform. Is this all really necessary? I mean, aren’t flu germs microscopic anyway? What’s a flimsy piece of paper over your face gonna’ protect you from when your packed into a subway car like a Cuban life raft and God-knows-what is smeared all over the poles and seats. It’s really surprising there’s no subway flu strain. I’ll bet you a case of Purell that the pen where swine flu originated is probably cleaner than any seat on the N train. Then again, as New Yorkers we’ve probably developed subway immunity anyway. City heat? Well, that’s a different story. After 15 years living in the city, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the oppressive heat of reflected asphalt and stale, hot city air. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for the warm weather this weekend, but 90 degrees in April? Swine flu, oppressive spring heat, no sign of Phantom ever closing - can the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse be far behind?

Wow, I’m certainly feisty today, aren’t I? Well, I must be going through show withdrawal. I mean, I haven’t been in a theatre in almost one week! And that’s after a marathon three Broadway shows in three consecutive nights last week (Blithe Spirit Tuesday, 9 to 5 Wednesday, Waiting for Godot Thursday). By Friday, I’ll have spent a record six nights in a row at home. Can a move to the suburbs be far behind? I admit it has been nice going home each night this week and just undress and lounge in my underwear watching TV and eating leftover Easter candy (resist your gag reflex bitches, it even disgusts me a little). I never imagined that a nine-to-five job would elicit such laziness out of me. When I was a poor, starving actor, I’d manage to cram in three auditions, the gym, dinner, drinks and a movie on a daily basis. Now I get home and literally sit on my ass until bedtime . Maybe I’ll force myself to squeeze into my old gym shorts and sneakers and try to remember what it was like to sweat. Stay tuned for updates!