9 to 5 (2/22)

Let me start by saying that I love me some Dolly. But 9 to 5: The Musical last night was a hot mess; a thoroughly entertaining and undeniably fun hot mess, but a hot mess nonetheless. It all started with a bang at around 8:10 when we heard the following announcement, “Ladies and Gentleman, Miss Dolly Parton.” The crowd just about rose to its feet and peed with joy in unison. Dolly stepped into the auditorium from a side door joking that the producers wouldn’t let her on stage for fear she’d never leave. Apparently she’s been in NYC for the last few weeks working on the show but tonight was the first time the producers had allowed her to address the audience in person. In her cute drawl she perkily read from the back of her hand, “Happy Administrative Professionals’ Day, or as they used to say in the old day’s, ‘Happy Secretary’s Day’.” No doubt her greeting was addressed specifically to me, having been lavished with praise and gift cards earlier that day at my office job.

Anyway, some of my fave performers and artistic folk are doing some questionable work here. Andy Blankenbuehler, whose choreography I loved for In the Heights, has crammed every moment with busy, unnecessary movement. It’s all strangely jerky and period inappropriate (was hip-hop around in the 70’s?) and makes the stage look messy and unfocused, especially on the horrendously ugly and overdesigned set. Are all those moving columns really necessary? Is there a point to all the tacky projections of moving arrows and clocks? The “less is more” philosophy would have gone a long way here. The only time the projections actually worked in heightening the stage business was during the pot-induced fantasy sequences - natch. Otherwise, they just seemed fussy and distracting. Perhaps the designer is purposely trying to distract us from the incredibly un-theatrical, and at times (sorry, Dolly) boring, score? Granted, the title song is ridiculously catchy and fun, but it’s also probably the strongest in the show and sets us up for high expectations. Unfortunately, the rest of the score doesn’t quite live up.

The cast is working really, really hard trying to sell a score full of musical duds. Lyrics (sorry again, Dolly) are mostly banal and general. The first act finale is almost laughable. For what seems like twenty versus, the gals sing about how after they get rid of their boss they’ll “shine like the sun.” Really?!? Sadly, most every song languishes on this level of sophistication except for maybe "Backwoods Barbie" and "Let Love Grow". Happily, these two songs are more what I expect from Dolly - straight-forward, no-nonsense and honest. It makes me wonder if maybe in an attempt to cash in, the producers rushed the show too quickly to stage, forcing Dolly to churn out less than optimum songs in order to “fill out” the score. I’ll give Dolly the benefit of the doubt here.

Allison Janney is da’ bomb, but she can just barely hold a tune. Her vocals didn’t bother me as much as they did Trish, but it’s almost cruel having her sing side-by-side with power divas Stephanie J. Block and Megan Hilty. Marc Kudisch was…well… Marc Kudisch. We’ve seen him play this character many times before and he does it extremely well. I’d just like to see him do something different or seen a new face tackle the role. Block and Hilty are both solid singing actresses, although I can’t tell if Hilty is purposely imitating Dolly, or if that’s just how it’s coming off. She’s definitely got some cutlets stuffed under her blouse, unless she’s recently gotten some major plastic surgery.

From all that, you may get the impression that I hated the show. But in actuality I quite enjoyed myself. The book scenes were terrific - fast-paced and funny. Sadly, the score wasn’t. The show literally screeched to a dead halt anytime someone started singing. I’m a total musical queen, but I couldn’t wait for the songs to be over so that we could get to the book scenes. Not exactly what you look for in a musical. But the audience loved it. Especially the militant lesbian sitting next to Trish who screamed (literally), “Get him!” at the point where the Dolly character went after her boss in one scene. And it was also nice to see such a varied audience in a Broadway theatre. I guess everyone enjoys big tits and big hair.