Crazy Sh*t on the Tonys OR Who knew Lea Michele was British?

What a crazy, mannered, I’m-going-to-force-this-down-your-throat-whether-you-like-it-or-not rendition of a classic. Yes, girlfriend can belt but she obviously can’t feel a downbeat and only has two volume settings, loud and really loud. And what’s with the British accent? She always sounds fantastic on glee - granted, they auto-tune the sh*t out of everyone and have multiple takes - but she was quite lovely in Spring Awakening only a few years back. What happened? She also exhibited not a bit of charm, humor or charisma needed for the character or song. She made Fanny Brice seem like a total b*tch - “Don’t rain on my parade, God Dammit!” To hear how it should be sung, check out Barbra’s original or Ms. Lillias White’s non-traditional, but a thousand times more moving, rendition from Seth’s Broadway 101:



Some other random Tony observations:

Sean Hayes was charming and funny. He was self-effacing, comfortable and at ease in a live, on camera situation. But some of those presenters, Oy! You’d think theatre actors had absolutely no sense of humor, reading the copy like they were auditioning for King Lear. Lighten up, people. And those play synopses - dear God - they actually made me NOT want to see these plays. Why is everyone so serious? The guys from Next Fall were the only two who seemed to have any idea how to entertain or engage an audience. Too bad their show (which I enjoyed, but didn’t love) wasn’t as good as their Tony schtick.

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t make it through any of Fela!’s numbers. I’m sure they’re much better in context, but I just fast forwarded through them. Yes, I’m a racist.

The sound guy sucked. How many times did I need to see lips moving without sound? I can understand tweaking the levels as you go, but how about “on” and “off” for starters?

Catherine Z-J looked cra-cra during "Send in the Clowns"! I thought her eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. She had the expression of a crack whore desperately in need of a hit. Again, I saw and enjoyed her performance in the theater (what happened since?) but between the crazy-face, back phrasing and inappropriate breathing, it came off like she was singing in a different language that she didn’t completely understand. “Isn’t it … (crickets) … rich. Are we a … (crickets) … pair.” Could you please complete your … wait for it … thought. Without breaking it … wait for it … up? Someone get her to a vocal coach, stat!

Thank God Christiane Noll was on hand to show ‘em how it’s done. Her all too short snippet of “Back to Before” was welcome relief from all the screaming and screeching. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against rock or pop shows, but how come nobody seems to really sing anymore? It seems technique, phrasing and dare I say it, a nice tone, is just not a prerequisite for performers anymore. Sigh…

And until yesterday’s little reminders, I had forgotten that Annie (really?) is going to be revived in 2012 and that Ricky Martin is going to be Che in the upcoming Broadway revival of Evita next year. I’m just not sure if he has the acting chops for this one. Unless, of course, he’ll be performing shirtless. In which case, no one will be paying attention to either his singing or acting. I hope he proves me wrong (but still hoping for the naked concept).