First off, that title is just awful and really has nothing to do with the show except for a casual reference in one lyric. It's surprising I was even able to catch that lyric given the horrifically bad sound design, but more on that later. And that hyphen? I know, I know, that's how Stan Lee spelled the character's name in the original comic book, but it's just awkward and looks ugly.
My post title pretty much sums up my feelings for the show as it stands after three previews. Spider-man is like a Kardashian - a lot of money spent to look good, but not much substance. Yes, Taymor gives us some spectacular visuals and a gorgeous design that makes you almost forget about the clunky book, mostly un-theatrical score, banal lyrics and unintelligible Arachne mythology in the second act. Almost. Don't get me wrong, I love U2 and own plenty of their CD's. Yes, I still have a CD player and yes, I actually play CD's on it. Call me old-fashioned. But much of the score is basically tuneless, generic alt-rock that at times badly mimics the genuinely eerie film scores of Danny Elfman. Why not just hire Danny Elfman? They could have also thrown this one to theatre composer Tom Kitt (Next to Normal) or to keep with "rock names", David Bryan (Memphis and Bon Jovi) or Jim Steinman (who gave us the even more awful Dance of the Vampires but which at least had some great tunes. Who doesn't love "Total Eclipse of the Heart"?). I can't believe I'm going to suggest this, but I'd even give Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber a shot, in hopes he could pull another Superstar or Evita out of his ass.
Just because you can write a good song doesn't mean you can write a good THEATRE song. What's catchy and profound on the radio can sound cliche or just downright silly in a theatrical setting (i.e. "turn off the dark" - huh? Seriously, isn't this just an obnoxious way to say "turn on the light"?). Theatre songs have to move plot along, illuminate character or hopefully, both. Most songs in this score do neither. It isn't a total wash-out. There are two pretty ballads in the second act, both are duets between Peter and Mary Jane sung beautifully by Reeve Carney and Jennifer Damiano. The latter of whom is totally wasted in an underwritten, underdeveloped role. Happily, the orchestration and muddy sound design don't interfere with the (mostly trite, faux-expressionist) lyrics here. Speaking of sound design, there were 5-6 minute stretches where I literally couldn't understand a single word or lyric uttered on the stage. Conservatively, I'd say 40 percent of the lyrics were lost under heavy reverb, over-amplified orchestra and unclear staging. It seemed Taymor was more interested in creating stunning visual images than creating a cohesive narrative.
Realistically, with a lot of editing, tightening and score-tweaking, the first act is definitely salvageable. Taymor's work with perspective and imagery is often inspired and the familiarity of the story sweeps you along in spite of the sound and book problems. But it all falls apart in the second act when Taymor's Arachne character takes center stage.
The Arachne myth has potential, but again, it seems Taymor's forsaken clarity for the sake of beautiful pictures. The character isn't developed enough and the myth itself has so many holes in it that I was often confused or simply didn't care. And I'm sure I wasn't alone on this one considering the many yawns emanating from the audience members sitting around me. Yes, I was actually bored during the second act. And what's with all the video? I can appreciate the technology as an aid to story-telling, but we're literally watching a movie for 15 minutes of the second act (10 minutes of which could be cut and not missed at all). I honestly don't think the second act can be fixed without shutting down the show for a couple of weeks and re-working it. This is a luxury I'm sure this production can't afford, considering they're already in the hole for $65 million.
And that brings us to the flying. Yes, it's impressive and definitely something that's never been seen in a Broadway show, at least not on this scale. Although for my money, the flying - or perhaps more accurately, the flight - in Mary Poppins is more of a "wow" moment for me because you don't see wires and because the single occurrence makes it somehow more special. In Spidey, it starts to get a bit redundant by the time the second act rolls around. It's basically the same three or four patterns over and over again. I'm not saying they need to increase the intricacy level, but maybe instead of a tenth flying pass there could be, oh, I don't know, a coherent book scene that actually moves the plot forward? I know, I'm such a traditionalist. Or how about going the complete opposite route. Fuck the book and just make it all action, flying and spectacle. Either method would improve the current product immensely. And I use "product" rather than production here, because that's exactly what it feels like - a well-packaged marketing tool for the Spider-man brand presented under the guise of art. There's nothing wrong with that, but expectations wouldn't be quite so high had the producers just fessed up to it in the first place.
I'm happy to report the stage manager only stopped the show once for about 5 minutes in the first act when it appeared there was some tangled wiring during the first flight sequence. Still, I was unable to fully engage in the flying sequences because in the back of my mind, I was always fearful for the actors and their safety. In a Cirque de Soleil show, it's obvious that the stunts are being performed by highly trained acrobats who have spent a lifetime honing their skills. I always feel they are in complete control of their bodies and their surroundings - not so in Spidey. All the stunts seem to be quite dangerous and seemingly difficult to control with any degree of consistency given the unpredictability of live performance and the inevitable variances with understudies and replacements. The actors are at the mercy of the stagehands as far as timing, velocity and accuracy of movement. Not that I don't trust the stagehands, but the actors don't seem to possess much control. Seriously, three actors are already out of the show: one hurt his foot, another broke both wrists attempting a flying stunt and the lead actress was out with a concussion the night we attended after being hit in the head with a flying rope. Nuff' said?
Back to the physical production, what's up with the costumes in the Daily Bugle scenes? The high school kids (including Peter and Mary Jane) are in modern dress, but everyone working in the Daily Bugle are in 1940's period costumes - not to mention anachronistically using typewriters to dictate copy. What time period are we in?
With all that said, the creative team does have until mid-January to get their act together. I'll have to give them the benefit of the doubt until the sucker actually opens. I just don't see realistically how they can overhaul this behemoth given the constraints of the technical design. Even the lighting, striking though it is, seems to have a new cue every half second or so. Any small change will likely take days just to program into the computer. I think the best we can hope for is tweaking of the book scenes, which would greatly improve, but not fix, many of the shows narrative problems. I'll definitely pay another visit after opening, granted I can afford a ticket, to see what's changed.
Spider-man and ...
...Kim - separated at birth?
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