A Pineda Christmas

Finally, a boring holiday. No gaping wounds or stitches, no road trips, no double set of parents, no parties – just the family in our pajamas with the TV and an endless supply of food and alcohol. What could be better? Granted, we did have to get dressed for Juan's Christmas Eve mass, but even that was relatively painless compared to the previous night’s cluster-fucked Pineda Holiday extravaganza. Is it grammatically correct to use “cluster-fuck” as an adjective? Does it really matter? At least I spelled it out, unlike our abbreviation-obsessed younger generation – LOL (Get the irony?).

This year the siblings decided to go budget with gift-giving and we set a spending limit. Now that I’m totally OCD about cleanliness and neatness in the apartment, the lack of “stuff” was definitely a plus for me. Juan, Val & Trish pooled their resources and got me a nifty handheld mini video recorder (Kodak Zi8 - isn't it pretty?). So as soon as I figure it out, I’ll actually be able to post some awesome blackmail-worthy video! Watch out family and friends. I smell a lawsuit.

Unfortunately, Gerry was unable to join us in NJ this year. We celebrated via phone as he nursed his ailing cat, Maddie (18 years old!) in Austin. He had a close call the day before and had to bring her to the vet. Hopefully, he won’t have to put her down during the holidays. Very sad.

Mom and dad, however, were able to make the trek to NJ and will be celebrating the rest of the week in my apartment in Queens. I actually don’t mind having them stay with me even though the space is so friggin’ small. What I am freaked out about (here’s my OCD again) is that I haven’t been able to clean the apartment. I’ve literally been going to work and then going straight to NJ for rehearsals everyday this week. I’ve barely had enough time at home to sleep let alone scrub a toilet. Now that I’m in my – gulp – 40’s, I take my eight hours of blissful slumber very seriously. They’ll just have to live with the scattered clothes and dirty dishes in the sink. At least I’ll have a clean set of sheets for them.

It’s now nearly midnight and I’ve been in the same tee shirt and drawstring pajama pants for nearly 24 hours! Even a visit from Audrey (an old friend of Val) and her friend Rosemary couldn't motivate an outfit change. I don’t think my regular clothes will fit me anyway. I haven’t stopped eating or drinking since 11am. I’ve been in this constant state of wanting to throw-up interrupted by hourly trips to recline on the porcelain throne. Yet I continue to shovel in ham, rum cake, sangria, chocolate, shrimp, calamari, assorted appetizers, cookies and a complete prime rib dinner with mashed potatoes and creamed spinach. I’ll have to down a bottle of Pepto before bed.

Trish and Val in their matching PJ's from mom.  They're like twins.  I can't even tell them apart!

Me in my Polar Bear pajamas being acosted by Juan and his new massager.

The happy family.

Merry Christmas, everyone!