My new best worst

Ghost the Musical

Lunt-Fontanne Theatre

Saturday, August 18 @ 2pm

I’m going to take the leap and say that Ghost the Musical is now at the top of my list of worst show I’ve seen on Broadway.  Keep in mind that I started seeing shows back in the late 80s and I’ve seen historic clunkers like Dance of the Vampires, Nick & Nora and Dracula, so I know from whence I speak.  The main difference between Ghost and these past clunkers is that the clunkers at least seemed to aspire to some higher level of theatrical quality.  Dracula also had the added bonus of Kelli O'Hara's bare breasts, but I digress.  The producers of Ghost seem to have given up and decided that if they sprinkled enough glitz on top of the tepid score and uninspired book, no one would notice. 

I in no way mean to bash the hardworking and talented cast.  I have the utmost respect for them.  Despite the yawner of a score, they give fully realized and committed performances that heighten the material to a far higher level than it deserves.  

When the only song worth remembering is pre-existing and connects with the audience only because of its association with the movie (lyrically it does absolutely nothing to enlighten or move the story along), you’ve got a problem.   When the 11 o’clock number stops the show’s momentum cold, is given to a secondary character and is staged like a bad cruise ship number, you’ve got a problem.  When the most entertaining character trades on sassy-black-girl stereotypes (though successfully pulled off by the wonderful Da’Vine Joy Randolph), you’ve got a problem.  When the best part of the show is the set, you’ve got a problem. 

I can actually understand the hype about the sets.  There were some dazzling effects (particularly the subway scenes), but there were some duds as well.  The led light walls didn’t really work for me because the lights didn’t provide for sharp, focused images.  To me, it looked like the play was taking place in a video game from the 80s.  I half-expected a Pac-Man to chomp across the stage - which would actually have been more interesting than the frenetic, generalized cityscapes that we got instead. 

Oh, and we don’t need to see the arching, naked asses of the leads projected five stories high on the front scrim.  Watching the gorgeous couple simulate sex on a chaise lounge downstage center was more than provocative enough for me, thank you very much. 

The larger-than-life ass effect was totally unnecessary and was my laugh-out-loud moment #1.  My laugh-out-loud moment #2?  And I mean that literally.  Me, Trish and several people around us laughed out loud, was the borderline offensive Mr. Bojangles character (that wasn’t the character’s name, but I don’t have my Playbill in front of me) who strutted around singing a ridiculous, faux gospel-inflected ditty in full jazz-hands mode.  Let me just add that the character is an old black man dressed in an all white suit and bowler hat.  Why not just get him down on one knee and have him belt out “Mammy”? 

And what’s up with the “doubling” of the dancing ensemble with projected silhouettes of dancers mimicking the same moves?  It just looks silly (and cheap) and exaggerates the lack of choreographic and directorial creativity.  Busy ≠ interesting.  Take, for example, how a single performer on a bare stage singing “Rose’s Turn” can keep an audience completely enthralled while a stage full of flashing lights and booty shaking here elicited yawns and watch-checking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against movie adaptations or rock scores.  I’m against bad movie adaptations and bad rock scores.  Unfortunately, Ghost manages to strike out on both accounts. 

I actually think there’s the kernel of a good show here.  Take away the distracting light walls, the choreography and 90% of the score (keep the ubiquitous “Unchained Melody” from the movie) and perform the piece as a straight play.  Then I think you might actually have something.