Crazy night at the opera

So after all the coverage of the Met’s season opener, a new production of Tosca by Swiss director Luc Bondy that was widely booed on its opening night Tuesday, I decided to see for myself what all the hubbub was about. As the famous crystal chandeliers rose and the house lights dimmed, a distinguished man in suit and tie stepped onstage with a handheld mic. I couldn’t tell who it was, since I could barely discern any features from my cheapo seat. I thought, Oh God, Mattila better not be out tonight. That full-split, high-C-singing, vagina-displaying soprano is the main reason I want to see this production. The man speaks, “Maestro Levine has incurred an injury. Joseph Colaneri will be conducting tonight’s orchestra.” Phew. Okay, not great news, but I’ll live. Suit guy doesn’t leave the stage - Oh, Shit! “In addition, Mr. Gagnidze is experiencing a cold but will perform this evening. He asks for your understanding.” My opera date, Chris, a Met virgin, looks at me like “what the f*ck?” Then halfway through the performance, lightning strikes twice - or actually I guess this would be thrice. As the lights dim for the second act, suit guy steps onto the stage again. You can almost hear a collective audience gasp. “Mr. Gagnidze has fallen ill and can no longer sing the role of Scarpia.” Now I’m the one saying WTF. “Carlo Guelfi, who was down the hall rehearsing for Aida, has kindly volunteered to sing the role while Mr. Gagnidze continues acting the role.” Holy sh*t! There is definitely a buzz in the air as a tech guy brings a music stand out to the stage right lip.

Watching Gagnidze perform the role full out, while lip-synching to a live singer, was extremely weird. Not to mention crazily disorienting, since the unamplified voices all emanated from the “correct” bodies onstage, except his. And although I must credit Mr. Guelfi for basically running across the hall with no notice and jumping in to sing one of the most iconic bass/baritone roles in the rep, it was kind of distracting watching him hang out on the side of the stage nonchalantly gulping from his water bottle as his onstage body double dry humps Tosca on the floor. Ah well, the excitement of live theater!

Last night was the second performance of this production, and while not perfect, wasn’t the train wreck that I was secretly hoping for. I mean, nothing is worse than sitting through three and a half hours of mediocre opera (or mediocre anything, for that matter). Sure, the simplistic set isn’t particularly interesting, especially compared to the almost hyper-realistic Zeffirelli production it replaced, but I was at least hoping for “scandalous” or “outrageous” - no such luck. For most of the opera, there was just a bare stage with some tall brick walls. The second act set was just plain ugly - a 1950’s retro minimalist take on the Brady Bunch’s basement rec room. Did I mention it was ugly? It almost seemed like the second act set was meant for a different production but was accidentally shipped to the Met and they didn’t have time to exchange it. And did I mention it was ugly?

I can understand some disappointment for fans of the sumptuous Zeff production, but booing? The production frankly wasn’t interesting or outrageous enough to warrant booing. The much talked about clutching of the Madonna at the end of Act I wasn’t shocking so much as puzzling. It simply didn’t make sense for the character based on the characterization leading up to that moment. If anything, it served to wake up the old ladies in the audience for intermission. Some of the other stuff - the omission of candles and cross, Tosca’s Act 2 suicide attempt, the clutching of the knife during Vissi d’arte - just seemed like a director’s ego deciding to force change for change’s sake.

As for the performers, well, I’ve been a fan of Mattila since she gave us full frontal in last season’s Salome - not to mention the full split. I mean, she’s in her 50’s! You go, girl. I hate to use clichés, but the 3,000 audience members watched in spellbound silence during her Vissi d’arte. You could literally hear a pin drop. Oh, and someone please get Miss Thing some knee pads. I could almost hear her kneecaps crack as she hit the floor full force during an emotional collapse near the end of the aria. Alvarez sang nicely enough, and his acting was better than average for a Met tenor. The onstage chemistry between him and Mattilla was definitely palpable, especially during the flirty, intimate staging in the opening act. Actually, Bondy’s direction provided several nice moments, mainly between Alvarez and Mattila. Unfortunately, these moments weren’t enough to counteract an unwieldy set (did I mention how ugly it is?) and some random, dubious directorial choices (can you say “fellating ho’s?). Oh well, I have my fingers crossed for the upcoming new productions of Hoffman and Carmen.