Poor Christina

To say I have zero interest in football would be an understatement.  I watch the Superbowl for two reasons - the performances (pre- and half-time show) and pigs-in-a-blanket.  I mean, the only reason I rooted for Green Bay was because Ellen said so. 

I don’t know what it is about Lea Michele, but something about her makes me want to punch her in the face.  Maybe I’m just projecting her obnoxious Rachel Berry character from Glee and letting that taint my opinion, but I can’t help it.  I actually caught her in Spring Awakening before it moved to Broadway.  Her performance was sincere and unaffected - exactly the opposite of how she comes off now.  I also remember her voice being so clean and pure, but her faux pop rendition of “America the Beautiful” before the game was appalling.  I get it - she wants to be commercial.  But all that fake whining and breathless affectation merely amplifies her inadequacies as a pop singer.  Be proud of your Broadway belt, girl!

Poor Christina.  I actually had no opinion of her until a few years back when I caught a live concert performance of hers on TV.  I give her props ‘cause she sounded amazing and has stage presence to spare.  But to f*ck up the lyrics on National TV is pretty embarrassing.  Even when Rosanne Barr butchered the anthem at a baseball game a few years back, she sang the correct lyrics.  I know, Christina was nervous, blah, blah, blah…but the girl regularly tours arenas and admits she’s been singing the National Anthem for games since she was a kid.  In the Wall Street Journal, Christina said, "I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place."  Um, more like “I got so caught up in my riffing that I no longer had any idea what I was saying and the text stopped making sense to me.”  Seriously, can we have a moratorium on riffing the National Anthem?  The only riffed version of the anthem that’s worked for me is by the original diva, Whitney Houston (pre-crack, of course).  Oh, Whitney, we miss you (see her rendition below).

As for half-time, The Black-Eyed Peas have some catchy tunes and sound great on recordings, but live - not so much.  I can't throw all the blame on the performance, auto-tuned to death as Will.i.am was.  The sound guy was f*cking up cues left and right.  Poor Usher was left virtually un-amplified.  Oh well, there's always next year.  How about having Babs Striesand and La LuPone do a Broadway set?  That definitely would be the gayest half time show ever!  On a side note, the Doritos commercial with the guy sucking the salt off the other guys finger!?!?  That may actually be gayer than a Babs / LuPone pairing.