Death by cupcake

It’s a dreary day here in New York City, cloudy and gray like my mood. I’ve just returned from my annual visit to the accountant to file my taxes, which means I’m almost another year older and two years closer to 40! When did I get so old? Sadly, my birthday has always been associated with tax day. I always hear people belly-aching if their birthday is too close to Christmas or Chanukah because they only get one present. Well boo-f*cking-hoo, be happy you’re getting one. People are either too stressed out to even think of partying on my birthday or they just plain forget. Yes, even my parents forgot my birthday one year and didn’t remember until a week later. Whatever, birthdays aren’t really even that high on my importance scale, it’s really just another day closer to death. Wow - OK, that was morbidly sarcastic even for me. Shake it off. At least I’m getting a decent return this year, though not as impressive as past years since I’m actually making a decent living wage for a change. And I did use this occasion as an excuse to buy a box of cupcakes from Buttercup Bakeshop so my co-workers and I could all experience the sugar crash together mid-afternoon. Although today Trish and I were supposed to start detoxing from our weekend of stress binging. I guess we’ll start tomorrow.

A Chorus Call (a sequel to A Chorus Line)

I found this scene-lette on a post at All That Chat and laughed so hard because I've totally heard bits and pieces of all these conversations at auditions (granted with different celebrity names, but same intent). The poster did not reveal the name of the author so I cannot credit this brilliant character study. Sadly, it's not an exaggeration and one of the reasons I always bring a book or headphones to auditions and try to block out everything else. And people wonder where the flaming chorus boy stereotype comes from.

Chorus Call (Sitting in an audition room for a male chorus call, three flamboyant chorus boys sit waiting to be seen.)

1: And then my boyfriend broke up with me and started dating my roommate, so he’s like, still living with us, he just sleeps in my roommate’s room.
2: Ohmygod, that sucks.
3: Is he an actor?
1: Yeah, NYU.
3: Stella Adler or Meisner?
1: Meisner.
3: What an a***hole.
1: Ohmygod, I hate chorus calls.
2: I know, this fu***ng sucks.
3: I shoulda' brought my book.
1: It’s like being at a gay bar with no liquor or music.
2: What book are you reading?
3: "Out of Sync" by Lance Bass.
1: Ohmygod, I read that whole thing in like, one day, it’s sooo freaking good!
3: I know, right? What was your favorite part?
1: I don’t know, the whole thing… I guess.
2: I’ve heard some of the music for this show and it sounds a-MAH-zing.
1: Where’d you hear it? I heard they’re not done writing it yet.
2: Sorry, I have connections. A "friend" if you will.
3: I think it’s really cool that they’re making a musical version of "Lucas".
1: Ohmygod, Charlie Sheen is so hot in the movie. I just wanna' lick his nipples.
3: I heard they’re getting Ashlee Simpson to play that girl from "The Goonies". The pretty one. A really good friend of mine is like Ashlee’s best friend. I’ve talked to Ashlee on the phone before.
2: I met Jessica Simpson at a party once. She got drunk and gave me her phone number.
1: Ohmygod, I love it when famous people give me their phone numbers.
3: That happens to you, too?
1: Well, yeah. When I’m like, catering or something, celebs are always like, "Oh you’re doing such a good job and you’re fun," and then they give me their phone number.
(Beat. 1 does a couple vocal warm ups [hums, blows out his lips, etc.])
2: Ohmygod, I hate chorus calls.
3: I know, right?
2: Going to a male chorus call is like going to Splash on Musical Monday…
(The other two give approval, "Oh, I love Musical Monday..")
2: Only everybody’s drinking bottled water...
(Gasp.)
2: And they’re only playing "Rent"…
(Approval.)
2: But you can’t sing along.
(Scream.)
1: Girl, don’t be talkin’ like that!
3: Isn’t "Lucas" the one where Corey Feldman plays with locusts and tries out for the football team, and like, almost dies in the end?
1: I think it was the other Corey. Corey Haim.
3: Or was it Sean Astin?
2: Anthony Michael Hall.
1: Winona Ryder.
3: Who cares, it was Charlie Sheen and the girl from "The Goonies."
ALL: The pretty one.
3: Anyway, my agent says I’m a definite shoo-in for it.
2: Which agent are you with?
3: …Martin… Von… Himmer… Steinen… Berg.
2: Oh, I’ve heard of him.
3: Yeah, he’s Raul Esparza’s agent. Raul is like one of my bff’s, so he recommended me.
2: That’s so sweet of him.
3: I know, right?
1: Ohmygod, Raul Esparza is so fu***ng hot, every time I Youtube him singing "Being Alive" on The Tonys I just j**z everywhere.
2: So like, one of my best friends is really good friends with Paula Abdul, and she said that they’re getting David Archuleta to play Lucas.
1 & 3: Awwww…
1: So what are you guys singing today?
2: Well, I was having Starbucks with Megan Mullally the other day and she said to sing "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits because it’s in the movie, and it’ll like, you know, put me in the scene.
(3 gets a text message.)
3: Ohmygod… I love it when Patti LuPone drunk texts me.
1: Ohmygod, I wanna read it.
3: Oops, I just erased it. Sh*t.
2: She’s drunk at 2 in the afternoon?
3: Yeah, well if you knew Patti the way I know Patti… Biiig lush.
1: I know, I was helping Bernadette Peters pick out new hair extensions the other day, and after that, we went back to her place and she totally drinks her vodka straight.
2: I love Bernadette.
1: The woman is 74 years old, people.
2: I know, I was doing cocaine with Angela Lansbury the other day, and she was talking about what a huge bitch Sutton Foster is…
3: I know, I was spe**nking with Rosie O’Donnell the other day, and she said –
2: Bob Saget gives amazing h**d.
1: I fu**ed Alan Cumming in a back alley on Christopher Street !
(Beat)
2 & 3: Um, yeah who hasn’t?
(A female monitor enters and makes an announcement.)
Monitor: Gentlemen, may I have your attention? They have decided they will not be seeing any non-equity people today. I know you’ve all been here since 5am, but since you are non-union, we don’t really see you as a person, so until that happens, you can all suck it. Thank you.
(She exits.)
3: Shit. I missed a Theatreworks callback for this.
1: Anybody wanna go second act "Spring Awakening"?
2: Totally, one of my best friends is in it, he’ll get us to sit onstage.
(They exit.)

Curtain

Madama Butterfly Pics

Sorry for the delay, but below are pics from the production of Madama Butterfly I directed this past spring. Thanks to Darleen Caruana, our photographer, for providing these pics taken at the dress rehearsal of March 6, 2008. One more production left this season, Pirates of Penzance, starring the teenagers in our Young Artist Program. Enjoy.

Kam Cheng (Cio Cio San), John Tsotsoros (Pinkerton) and Young Artist ensemble

Ensemble, Kam and John

John C. Taylor (Bonze)

Kam and Gustavo Ahualli (Sharpless)

Kam

Jessica Grigg (Suzuki), Kam and Gustavo

Neutered "Baby"

I really wanted to like Cry-Baby. It’s not that I disliked it; worse, I was indifferent to a lot of it. For a musical, it had the most forgettable score I’ve heard in a long time. It wasn’t even bad enough to be good. It was just plain mediocre and at times even boring. I was actually frustrated because this could have been a great subversive, camp musical in the vein of Rocky Horror. Instead, it was a beautiful-looking, neutered version of the original.

First, though, the good stuff. Costumes were quirky and fun. Choreography was athletic, creative, character specific and non-stop. The three featured male dancers (as well as the rest of the cast) are working their asses off. The musical staging was genuinely original and clever - namely the shadow work in “Infected by Your Love,” the gas mask ballroom scene and the dream groom/bride number. Set was appropriate and fun, especially the tilting false prosceniums, a great detail that helped establish the idea that what we were witnessing wouldn’t be your “typical” musical. It set many scenes appropriately off-kilter literally as well as metaphorically. Unfortunately, this feeling wasn’t carried through the entire production, mainly in score and casting.

I had some major issues with James Snyder's Cry-Baby. Not that he was bad, he was just fine. But fine doesn’t cut it for the title role in a Broadway show. He’s obviously talented and attractive, but lacked charisma. Also, nothing about him reads edgy or dangerous except his hair. Liz Stanley (who I met while working at Seaside Music Theater) could be Sherie Renee Scott’s twin both vocally and physically. For this role, the goofy ingénue thing worked in her favor. But her songs didn’t fully show-off her tremendous belt or her legit soprano. It annoyed me that someone unfamiliar with her work would probably think her singing was just “OK” due to the ho-hum score. Chris Hanke was adorable and fun as the “good boy,” but due to general lackluster audience response, seemed to be pushing the humor somewhat. The stand-out, other than Harriet Harris, was Alli Mauzey as the schizo stalker Lenora. She turned a mediocre song about obsession into a comic monologue that actual milked laughs from a verse about self-mutilation. That’s talent. But it's definitely Harriet Harris' show. She heroically manages to turn an otherwise mediocre 11 o’clock number into a near show-stopper through sheer force of talent.

Overall, the show is just plain frustrating. Witnessing the talent on stage, the creative and artistic merit of the physical production, direction and choreography and the often clever lyrics, one wonders what could have been. There’s no real plot climax and I kept thinking the closing scene would have been better served with a dramatic “disclosure” song for Harris (not written by this composer, of course). The final song was hideous and almost embarrassingly sophomoric in its attempt to be “catchy” and fun. The show’s still in previews but the only thing that could really save it would be replacing all the songs, which ain’t gonna’ happen. I also think the writers wrongly tried to "Disney-fy" the show and thus left it "generically anti-establishment" without the yummy filth or true shock factor one expects and wants from a John Waters' project. I think the couple sitting in front of me summed it up when the husband commented to his companion, “It’s OK for $54 but not $120.”

Photo courtesy of eonline.com

Food coma and well deserved rest

This morning I began recovery from my Easter food orgy with a conservative bag of raisins and nuts for breakfast - yuck. It all started Friday night with a fried fish and chips feast and ended late last night on the porcelain throne. I actually think I exhibited vast restraint compared to previous years. Most significantly, because my two good friends - Chris and Dan - and I decided to temporarily suspend our annual Easter basket exchange. It was growing way out of hand, spending hundreds of dollars to try and out-top the baskets from the year before. How out of control can Easter baskets get, you may ask. Well, the first year the baskets were filled with assorted Hershey's and maybe an "extravagant" little box of Godiva. Last year somebody got an ipod. 'nuff said? So no fancy chocolates or electronic gadgets for me this year. Instead I’ll probably have to head to the drug store tonight to stock up on some half-priced peanut butter eggs and pastel foil-wrapped candy.

Even more noteworthy - NO REHEARSALS all weekend, Hooray! Well actually that’s not even true, since I did have a three hour Oklahoma rehearsal on Friday - we burned through pages of book scenes (I had forgotten how book heavy the show was) - and I had to get up early Sunday morning for a rehearsal and church job. No matter, it was nice to actually have a Saturday afternoon and evening off for a change. I only got up from the couch to pee and eat - bliss. We’ve all been working non-stop since last fall so Val joined me watching trashy TNT movies and vegging out all day. Unfortunately, Juan had to prepare for Easter Services and Trish had to cantor. Oh well, I felt a pang of guilt for about 10 seconds and then got over it.

I also finally got to see Enchanted during our Easter movie marathon, which also included Blades of Glory (the JFK/Marilyn routine is genius) and The Sound of Music. Now I see what all the fuss is over Amy Adams (faboo in Miss Pettigrew, by the way). She was like Maria in Sound of Music on crack! Awesome. The songs were pleasantly generic, but well-staged and filmed. Marsden and McDreamy were both hunky and who knew that Marsden (or Dempsey for that matter) could actually sing?! On a side note, did anybody catch the Live From Lincoln Center Madama Butterfly from NYCO Sunday afternoon? James Valenti as Pinkerton - hubba, hubba. I don't know if he can sing, but who cares?

Anyway, we had a pretty full house for Easter brunch in Jersey with the parents and a ton of Val’s Jersey relations all making the requisite stop for Easter ham and Filipino food. I did retreat to the upstairs bedroom for a food-induced coma mid-day. But fortunately I was able to keep my drowsy eyelids propped open long enough for the routine chit chat and family gossip. The parents were especially pleased that we had invited Father Ed, a catholic (Filipino) priest who appeared in a small role in our recent Madama Butterfly, to the Easter festivities. As a self-proclaimed heathen, I'll need all the help I can assemble to force my way through those pearly gates. Why not stack the decks in your favor, right? And who doesn't love a tequila drinking, George-Bush-joke-telling priest?!

Ho-hum, I'm back to the office grind today. But I'm actually going to have a full week without a rehearsal because everyone’s on Spring Break (except me, course) - Yippee! Maybe I can actually get some sleep this week. I should probably take this time to get my fat ass back to the gym. We’ll see if that happens.

Group shower scene, naked rear-ends and topless action!

No, I'm not talking about my weekend dalliances, but the current (first!) Broadway revival of South Pacific. Prudes take note, the title above is a bit of an exaggeration. It's the same classic tuner but re-envisioned with a 2008 sensibility that emphasizes a naturalistic acting/directorial style. I don’t know if it’s depressing or exciting (or maybe both?) that the three best directed and emotionally fulfilling Broadway shows I’ve seen this season are revivals. The triumvirate consists of Broadway’s heaviest hitters, Sunday in the Park with George (Sondheim/Lapine), Gypsy (Styne/Sondheim/Laurents) and now South Pacific (Rodgers/Hammerstein). The Lincoln Center revival proves that sometimes, at least when it come to theater (and steak), bigger is better. There’s a full 30 piece orchestra (there’s a friggin’ harp in the pit!) in tuxes playing the original orchestrations with a cast of 40!! Thank God for non-profit theater. A show of this magnitude could simply not be produced commercially on Broadway without charging $1,000 a seat (which we seem to be slowly approaching anyway).

Overall a visually stunning physical production with airplanes, trucks, sand dunes and even a full-sized palm tree sprouting from the stage. The lighting is gorgeous, especially on the sky/Bali H’ai backdrop, as are the costumes (“Fierce!” as Chris Siriano would say). And über-dreamy Paulo Szot actually proves that white canvas shoes, neckerchiefs and open-toed sandals can be masculine (he’s doubly “fierce”). Hearing a full orchestra play a classic overture (I have to give props to the current Gypsy revival here, too) just emphasizes how blandly generic and pitifully underpowered the scores and orchestrations emanating from Broadway pits have been over the past decade. Add the "every-song's-a-hit" score to the mix and a book that confronts racism and war head-on, ("But what are you for?" Emil asks in reply to Captain Bracket's statement, "We're against the Japs." - eerily resonant in light of America's current Iraq debacle) and you have the makings of a true Broadway anomaly: a spectacle that also carries a political viewpoint without clubbing you over the head with it.

Politics aside, the show is also gorgeously sung (another Broadway anomaly), the weak link being Loretta Ables Sayre. Though beautifully acted, her "Bali H'ai" lacked vocal heft. Her "Happy Talk" became a heartbreaking act of desperation thanks to director Bartlett Sher's decision to play against the obvious "funny talking natives" caricature. Throughout, Sher's decision to continually seek a more truthful and less presentational route gives this revival a definite edge without becoming too "dark." The chemistry between Szot and Kelli O'Hara's Nellie was palpable and can only continue to grow through previews. With O'Hara, we finally get a legit sounding Nellie without sounding operatic. So likable and endearing, you actually feel sympathy for her when she wrestles with her racial demons. Some minor quibbles - Matthew Morrison's Cable is well acted but I would have liked to hear a bigger tenor voice fill out those high "G"'s (even if it meant giving up the six-pack on display during "Younger Than Springtime") and there were some truly weird "homo" moments in the sailors' opening dancing and staging in Act I. I'm all for beefcake and male camaraderie, but it even made me a little uncomfortable.

Mountain Dew Me!

After two days confined to my couch - well, the couch and the porcelain “throne” - I’m finally back to work. Which reminds me, remember that soft drink from the 90’s, Squirt? What an unfortunate name. I’m sure the guy that came up with that one is bagging groceries somewhere now. But I digress. It sucks being sick and I unfortunately had to cancel an Oklahoma rehearsal. But it does appear I’ve lost about three pounds. Hooray for the flu! Juan was complaining about stomach problems all weekend, so perhaps I caught a bug from him. Anyway, all seems fine now but why is it that after lying on a couch and relaxing for two days am I so damn tired? I think I willed myself back to health knowing that I have tickets for the Broadway revival of South Pacific tonight. When it appeared that I might be suffering a prolonged illness, Trish informed me that we’d be going to the theater no matter what and that she would supply me with an adult diaper. Luckily for me (and probably my seat neighbors) I’ve recovered and will not have to resort to Depends.

If you haven't read Seth Rudetsky's Onstage & Backstage column on Playbill.com (appears weekly on Monday's), you are missing a hilarious and dishy insider's view of the Broadway world. An interesting tidbit in this week's column:

[Angela Lansbury] accepted the part [of Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast], and they went into the studio to record the title song. She did it once all the way through…and they kept it! The version we all know from the movie was done in one take! Go "old-school Lansbury"!

Never ending rehearsals, Anything Goes and Les Mis casting

My life right now is an endless loop of rehearsals - first Madama Butterfly, now Oklahoma and starting next week, Pirates of Penzance. I have to admit the Butterfly cast spoiled me. All eight principals were off book from the start of rehearsal. Unlike my Oklahoma cast where only one principal, our Laury, has ever shown up off book. It’s been painfully obvious that some have even shown up to rehearsal never having read through the script. Really? I mean, if you’re cast as the lead of a show I’d think you’d at least read through the damn book so you’d know what the hell was going on. I understand that it’s community theater, but still. Work ethic, anyone? Hopefully, this will improve since we’ve asked the stage manager to send out an email requiring cast to be off book by the end of the month. I’m probably being harsh, but it’s odd when someone else’s “hobby” is your life’s vocation. Regardless, it’s no excuse considering everyone in the Butterfly cast, although granted they are professional singers, all have day jobs as well. And the score to Butterfly is way more difficult and in a foreign language to boot! I mean, how can you call yourself a musical theater performer, pro or not, and not know the lyrics to the title song of Oklahoma!? I even know them in Chinese for God’s sake (I used it to audition for Broadway’s Thoroughly Modern Millie and got called back). On an up-note, "Kansas City" is basically staged and choreographed, so that’s one dance number crossed off the list - only three more and a ballet to go!

Saturday night Trish, Val and I went to Westfield High School’s production of Anything Goes. As I’ve stated in earlier posts, I’m trying to be somewhat restrained when commenting on “non-professional” shows since so many of our kids are involved in them. Before going further, I want to make it clear that we did enjoy the show and thought that most of the performances were excellent. But I do have a few “what the f*ck?” items that I need to at least air out so that I can move on. First, when did “move center stage and sing directly at the audience” become an acceptable direction for a song in a musical? Reno, whose belt was off the hook and definitely has the chops to pursue musical theater professionally, impressed despite some horrific direction. She had to deliver “I Get a Kick Out of You” way across the stage from Billy Crocker (the “kickee”) and straight out to the audience while Billy sat facing away from and ignoring her. Did the song take place in her head? Was it a dream sequence? Was Billy temporarily deafened by Reno’s belt? Note to director: Reno’s trying to seduce Billy. In this version, she was trying to seduce him telepathically from across the stage. More odd was that some songs were "correctly" directed as "scenes-set-to-music" while others received the “stand-center-and-sing-out-Louise" treatment. Luckily, most of the performers overcame the bad direction through sheer talent. I won’t mention the choreography, except to say that a good choreographer will find a way to make everyone look good and include everyone in production numbers. Not just six people, who although executed impressive sounding taps, were rendered with bland movement (how’s that for passive-aggressive commentary?). I know several “good-movers” and dancers in the show who were relegated to the back row as scenery or just plain left off the stage. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but the opening number to our Millie last summer was way more impressive yet probably not as technically difficult as any number in Anything Goes while still allowing the entire cast to perform. Although the ship set was impressive, it begged the question, “Did you spend all your money on your top deck and run out of money for costumes?” Several girls who I know to be quite slim and pretty looked like dowdy middle-aged women in shapeless sacks. I apologize if that was the “look” they were going for, but I highly doubt it. I am happy to say that three of our students, Billy Geltzheiler, Ellen Scariati and Mia Pafumi all created extremely funny, well-sung and well-developed characters (pat on the Pinedas' collective back) despite many hurdles. I also have to give props to the men in the show who were all extremely strong and gave their female counterparts a run for their money onstage.

Also this weekend, we finally cast Les Mis. After a long morning of auditions (having had three audition dates prior to this weekend) and a node-inducing callback we finally sent out all of the offer letters by midnight on Saturday. To date, it’s been the most difficult show for us to cast since the talent was ridiculously high this year. Any number of the young actors could play these roles successfully. It really boiled down to who “fit” the role best, vocally and type-wise, for how we envision the production to look and sound. It’s both a luxury and a curse to have more than one (or three or four) people of equal talent to choose from. I’m actually very excited to start rehearsals since I have no doubt this show is going to be pretty incredible. Now how are we going to build that friggin’ barricade?!?

Keep it real, homies!

Patti LuPone is definitely a freak of nature, but her performance in the recent Gypsy Broadway transfer, at least last night, seemed to lack the focus and subtlety she displayed at City Center earlier this summer. I mean, she’s still f*cking amazing, but there were definitely some pushed line readings. Trish described some seeming almost like asides to the audience rather than conversational. Reel it in Patti! It actually seemed like everyone was a tad over the top last night. My guess? The cast is overcompensating due to fatigue on a two show day. Laura Benanti (Louise) turned in the most solid performance of the evening, yet her screaming in the act two dressing room scene bordered on “Mommie Dearest” campiness. Again, reel it in biyatches! Boyd Gaines is a likeable Herbie with just enough backbone as to not seem like too much of a wuss. Leigh Ann Larkin’s deadpan Dainty June really added some new dimension to the character at City Center, but upon transferring to Broadway seems to be pushing too hard and is starting to come off a tad cartoonish. Sometimes less IS more and more is just, well, too much. I was nearly brought to tears at City Center because I believed these were real characters, but on Broadway I started to see the actors work, almost begging the audience for a standing ovation. Keep it real, homies! The only number that actually benefitted from the "more is more" direction was the Gotta' Have a Gimmick number. It’s still an amazing performance of first rate material and a second viewing only magnifies the lack of quality book shows currently playing/being written - Legally Blond, anyone? And for the record, I didn’t hate LB, I just wouldn’t exactly label it a classic.

The orchestra sounded glorious and to hear the overture in its original orchestration is worth the ticket price alone. I hope this is a continuing trend, with South Pacific also touting a 30-piece orchestra playing the original Russell Bennett orchestrations. Unlike some angry posters on ATC, the minimalist set didn’t bother me at all. I really don’t pay to see helicopters or chandeliers. I’ll take a kick-ass cast and full orchestra over a turn table any day.

Peter Grimes or Trish Takes a Nap

I know opera is notorious for its indulgent use of the old "park & bark" technique, but last night was ridiculous. Nothing happened on stage, literally. The chorus sounded magnificent, but could just as well have been seated on choral risers at the back of the stage. John Doyle, whose recent Sweeney Todd and Company revivals employed the actors onstage carrying instruments and accompanying themselves in place of an orchestra, seems not able to occupy his actors without the crutch of trombones and accordians in hand. I do applaud the prinicpals, especially Patricia Racette (Ms. Orford), Anthony Dean Griffey (Grimes) and Felicity Palmer (Mrs. Sedley) who despite the minimalist (an understatement) direction managed to elicit characterizations from seemingly nothing.

To be fair, we left after the second intermission because Trish, as well as several people around us, could barely keep from snoring. The empty seats surrounding us after the first intermission were plentiful and understandable. I stayed hoping things would turn around in the second act, but no such luck. It was really quite a shame considering the outstanding musical reading by the orchestra, principals and chorus. But I could have just as well stayed home and listened to a CD.

As far as the physical production, the set initially impressed. But after two hours, a big wooden wall just gets monotonous. Also, everyone was costumed in black, gray or some other dreary dark color so that no one was particularly distinguishable from anyone else. In full cast scenes, I had no idea who was singing at any given moment. The blocking (i.e. everyone standing in one huge group, including principals) didn't help either.

I guess I'll have to wait 20 years until the Met decides to do another new production of this opera. There really is absolutely no reason to see this particularly boring production again. The evening wasn't a total loss, it's definitely convinced me to order tickets for Madama Butterfly with Racette next season.

Sayonara Mad Butt

Congrats to my Madama Butterfly cast who closed the weekend with a sold out show and a visit by the police department. The show literally stopped traffic. The cause? An overflowing parking lot. We can only hope for continued violations in the future. As for the show, the audience reaction was amazing. We actually received a phone call already inquiring about Carmen tickets for next season. So now that the pressure is off for the current opera season - well, not completely since we start rehearsals for the Young Artist’s Pirates of Penzance at the end of March - we move on to the next project, Oklahoma!

So this is how crazy the Pineda family is. Sunday’s Butterfly matinee ends at five-ish, we strike the set, Trish runs out for MacDonald’s and we start rehearsals on the same stage for Oklahoma! at seven. Crazy, no? Anyway, the cast is fun and will sound amazing once we really start drilling them. But the stress is already mounting since we’re already dealing with cast members dropping out and rehearsal conflicts piling up. We had a major argument at the post-rehearsal production meeting with one of our producers and stage manger regarding understudies. Of course, we’re used to getting our way since we’ve always produced independently. But today we had to munch on some humble pie since CDC is not our theater and we must constantly remind ourselves that we’re now employees. It’s difficult, since we all have pretty large personalities, to put it mildly, and if we want to keep this relationship cordial and long-lasting, we’re going to have to make some compromises. It certainly is going to be a challenge considering the Pineda clan has definite control issues. It’s difficult to admit that the world does not revolve around a Pineda-axis. Well, at least not all the time, hehe. But we seemed to iron it all out by the end of the meeting.

Anyway, some random thoughts on Butterfly:

This is the first time in LOC history that we ran a show more than once in its entirety before the first performance. We actually had three full run-throughs! That’s just plain ridiculous.

I had some major agita Friday night, having been stuck at the office until well after six. I rushed to catch a late bus and nearly missed my show’s opening night. I managed to get to the theater by quarter of, only to find out that Gustavo (Sharpless) was stuck on a broken down bus, John (Pinkerton) was caught in traffic and Judd (our often MIA Commissioner) was no where to be found. But by eight the cast was complete, the house was full and everyone actually had a costume.

Val went to her bad place during the first intermission, asking me to pass on the note for the principals to "start acting." I decided to hold off on that note which turned out to be a wise decision, since the cast finally relaxed into their roles by the time Act Two got rolling. I’m sure the combination of stress, nervousness and that fact that three leads and the director were missing at half hour greatly contributed to their lack of concentration at the beginning of the performance.

On Sunday, the concert master arrived well after 2:15 PM for a 2:00 PM curtain. Juan and I were very close to losing our sh*t since the conductor didn’t seem to think this was such a big deal. We were about to start without him, but the second chair player informed us that the CM had the only copy of the violin part with the bowings marked in it. Two other orchestra members also arrived late, one by more than half. Val promptly told her to go home. This &%$*%& musician didn’t even have the decency to apologize and instead merely asked how much she was going to get paid. Paid?! She’s lucky I didn’t shove her bow up her ass. I don't care if she's friggin' Midori, who I'm sure would never arrive half an hour after the start of a performance anyway.

The theater has a serious restroom issue. We held curtain for both intermissions over five minutes waiting for people to pee!

Production photos posted shortly.

I hate to whine...

but I'm sooooo tired. Thankfully, Madama Butterfly opens tonight - or as I affectionately refer to it, Mad Butt. The cast seems pretty confident if a bit ragged energy-wise. They all sound vocally fantastic, but I can tell the rehearsal schedule has gotten to them as well - most, like me, have day jobs in the city.

Mom and dad are here for opening and the Pineda's Jersey apartment will be packed to the rafters with family. Hopefully, we won't kill each other before it's all over. Oh, wait, it's not over. This just means it's time to start rehearsals for Pirates... and Oklahoma! I can't wait until August when I have my evenings and weekends back again. Well, some of them. I have a sneaking suspicion that Carmen will start usurping my life in the fall. More on that and the Mad Butt opening (that sounds dirty!) later this weekend.

Duets Concert Pics...

Me with Zach Infante, "All For the Best" fr. Godspell

"I Feel Pretty" fr. West Side Story w/ Pami Marks

"When We Grow Up" fr. Free to Be You and Me w/ Rebecca Glaser-Baker


Photos courtesy of Darleen Caruana

Word of the day: Barihunk

From urbandictionary.com:
barihunk: A handsome or pretty baritone. Especially, but not exclusively, one who removes his shirt for the sake of opera.

I'm going to the Marriage of Figaro because I like the
opera but also to see the barihunks on display.

From Parterre.com:
BARIHUNK: Emphasis on the "hunk." A singer of limited range-- usually F to F and not much more-- and even more limited repertoire. Schaunard, Papageno, Guglielmo, Figaro, Malatesta, Billy Budd, and well... that's about it. But boy, are they ever cute! Famous barihunks include Alan Titus, Hakan Hagegard, Dmitiri Hvorostovsky, Boje Skovus, Rodney Gilfrey, Nathan Gunn (pictured) and all those others whose headshots look so dreamy on a CD of Schubert lieder. Some synonyms for "Barihunk" include "Santa Fe Apprentice Artist," and "Bernstein protege" and "Opera News cover story."

Sleep is highly overrated

We’re finally into tech week of Butterfly and I couldn’t be happier for it to be over. Don’t get me wrong, the cast is incredible, the orchestra sounds wonderful and the set even looks clean and classy, not just thrown together with furniture from friends’ living rooms like we usually end up doing. But this schedule of sitting behind a desk for nine hours and then commuting out to NJ for a four hour rehearsal is just tedious. Not to mention I’m way behind on episodes of Lost, American Idol and The Biggest Loser. I mean, you have to have your priorities. Anyway, Butterfly looks to be a great success, ticket-wise. The phone has been ringing off the hook with orders. So hopefully we may even get paid someday. Now that would truly be remarkable.

I think we may have even hit an LOC milestone, we’ve run through the entire opera and we still have two more run-throughs scheduled! I can’t remember when we’ve ever gotten one full run-through in before opening night. I can’t even remember the last time we got an entire show blocked - well, blocked a week before opening. Scary.

As I mentioned, the cast is crazy talented. John, our Pinkerton, could easily blow out your eardrums if you’re standing too close. Luckily, the voice is also gorgeous. Kam, (Cio-Cio San) sounds beautiful as usual and Jessica (Suzuki) is just remarkable. The kids told her that they call her “chocolate” because her voice is so smooth and creamy. We’ve even dangled a production of Carmen in front of her, hoping to win her back for next season. She seemed genuinely moved by our offer and we’re keeping our fingers crossed.

Tonight is the first run-through with costumes, so we’ll see what falls apart and who ends up running around the stage naked. Either way, I’m looking for tomorrow’s day off and vegging out in front of the TV, just me, the remote and a bag of chocolate.

Duets Concert

That was just insane. There is no reason we should not have just crashed and burned last night. We must have some major Karmic payback coming to us, because there is no explainable reason as to how we got through that concert. A) We had never run through the show, B) we hadn’t even rehearsed with some of our duet partners and C) we didn’t even know the running order or exactly who was accompanying each person until right before each song. Not to mention finishing up a four hour Butterfly rehearsal directly before the concert.

I really can’t explain it. The lyrics for each song magically burst forth from my mouth. The first full performance (blocking and singing with the accompaniment) of three of the four scenes I had been assigned, occurred on stage during the actual concert. I’ve really never been so unprepared ever and based on the crowd reaction, rehearsal is highly overrated. Not that it was a perfect show by any stretch of the imagination, but the audience seemed to forgive the somewhat long pauses between numbers as we frantically set up for each scene or tried to decide who was accompanying which songs. I audibly whispered, “Am I playing this?” to Val as she was standing on stage ready to sing. The audience, of course, thought it was all part of “the script” and laughed at each seemingly ridiculously moment, thinking it must have been staged for their entertainment. Little did they know…

Another “it-had-to-have-been-staged” moment occurred when I forgot that I was accompanying the song directly after mine. I was busy patting myself on the back for being so brilliant in the “When We Grow Up” baby scene when I heard the intro to “Two’s Company.” I thought, “Um, I’m supposed to be playing that song.” I ducked out the side door, ran around the back of the theater (I couldn’t cut straight across the front because of the lighting and seating arrangement), reached over Val’s shoulders (who started playing because I was nowhere in sight) and took over while she slid off the bench and I stepped over it to sit down. Later, Trish told us she thought something was different about the song but wasn’t quite sure what.

A stressful evening for the Pineda’s, but apparently parents will overlook anything if their kids are front and center; definitely, a good thing to remember for future fundraisers.