Far From Heaven - A Valiant Attempt

Far From Heaven
Playwright's Horizons
Tuesday, May 14, 7pm

I desperately wanted to love this show given the merits of the artistic team, the subject matter and the fantastic cast (dreamy Steven Pasquale and the always lovely Kelli O’Hara).  But by the closing scene, I found myself surprisingly unmoved.  And this from a man who literally cries at the end of an Undercover Boss episode.

Trust me, I was open and ready for the moment I’d be moved to tears for Cathy, the show’s heroine (played sensitively by O’Hara).  But it never came. 

(MAJOR spoilers ahead)

Let me break down Cathy's shitty life for you (I almost cried just typing it):

• Her sexy, closeted husband won’t put out.
• She walks in on sexy husband with his tongue in another guys mouth.
• She falls in love with Raymond, a black man (in suburban 1950s Connecticut, no less), whose daughter gets attacked by white thugs.
• Raymond breaks it off and moves to Baltimore.
• She's abandoned by her husband for some hot young twink he meets on their vacation and is left alone to raise two young children.

Seems like a pretty emotionally devastating evening, right?  Sadly, I was left admiring the artistic effort and the talent on stage, but not so much the final product.

The first act was most troublesome for me. The opening number sets the tone well, but the rest of the act seems like a string of plot points relayed through a pleasant, if perfunctory, score.  Perhaps the writers are trying too hard to mirror the repressed emotional state of the characters through the writing.  The approach sounds good in theory, but in practice comes off like an extended recitative interspersed with several notable musical motifs that don't get fully developed. 

The second act is more successful.  There is a romantic sweep, almost lushness, to the score that I found missing in the first act.  Unfortunately, there are also many missed opportunities, moments – like the train station scene (seriously, where’s the big duet about lost love/opportunity?) – that pass without comment yet to me, scream out to be sung.  And don’t get me started on the embarrassingly bad blocking for the stoning scene.  Talk about not giving an audience credit for having an imagination.  

Yes, the setting is an idealized 1950s suburbia where everyone has the restrained veneer of Stepford perfection.  But this is also a musical, dammit!  A musical about passion, forbidden romance and lost inhibitions - massive emotions I didn't hear expressed in the score.  

The writers obviously respect the source material, but perhaps to the detriment of their adaptation.  There are some satisfying moments (especially between Cathy and Raymond, her black gardener) in both acts.  But for the most part, what's on stage is a faithful but dispassionate musicalized version of the movie. 

The ubiquitous Kelli O’Hara is the ingénue du jour, and rightly so.  She’s gorgeous, sings beautifully and is always so natural and un-mannered in her acting.  She’s perfect for the role of a dutiful 1950s housewife.  Steven Pasquale is equally perfect, handsome with a strong, lovely tenor.  Though for some reason the writers have chosen to set most of his character's music in Pasquale's less powerful lower range.

But the real travesty on the Playwrights Horizons' stage is the hulking, hideous scoffold set.  It looks like scavanged remnants from the Rent bus-and-truck.

On a side note, the fabulous Christine Ebersole (Tony winner for Korie & Frankel's Grey Gardens) sat right in front of me.  During intermish she chatted with composer Scott Frankel about recent productions of Grey Gardens in Brazil.  

Jekyll & Hyde (sigh)

Jekyll & Hyde
Marriott Marquis Theatre
Sunday, May 5, 2pm

Wow, just wow.  This Broadway revival is the (hopefully) last stop after a 25-week national tour.  I mean, I’m all for second chances, but the current revival is really just a train wreck.  I can’t believe any producer thought this was Broadway ready/caliber.  And besides, 12 years seems a bit soon for a show that is generally not considered a “classic” by most (all?) musical theatre experts.
 
The show has been re-worked, notably given new rock arrangements that I assume were implemented to give the score an “edgier” sound.  I’ll admit this score has always been a secret guilty pleasure, especially with Colm Wilkinson and Linda Eder’s vibrant vocals on the original concept album.  But the new synth-heavy orchestrations reduce the already power ballad-heavy score into a cheesy tribute to 80s hair bands. 

Unfortunately, no amount of electric guitar riffs or excessive American Idoli-esque vocalizing can hide the scores shortcomings – notably the lack of lyrical specificity and the generally unimaginative melodic/harmonic structures – though there’s no denying Wildhorn has a gift for writing memorable musical hooks.

Constantine Maroulis employs his signature curly mane to excess and his pouty trademark “blue steel” is intact for all the fans.  But vocally?  Hmmm.  Yes, it’s a strong voice with an impressive range, but either the musical director has no balls or Maroulis just doesn’t give a rats ass about vocal finesse or about serving the lyric.  His back-phrasing is so extreme that at times it sounds like a recording where the technician pressed the “start” button on the vocal and orchestral tracks a measure (or more) apart.  It’s self-indulgent and screams - literally - “look at ME” at the expense of the score.


And his “accent” – oy vey!  Does Maroulis have something against ending sentences with a long “e” vowel?  i.e. “listen to meh,” “…to beh or not to beh” – OK, that last quote is not from Jekyll & Hyde, but you get the idea.

Deborah Cox fairs much better.  She’s not a natural actress and at times seems to be giving a somewhat mechanical, though committed, performance.  But she’s gorgeous (those calf muscles are dazzling) and has star presence and charisma to spare.  She at least gets an “A” for effort. 

At yesterday’s matinee Cox was suffering from some obvious vocal fatigue, but I give her props for somehow managing to squeeze out a thrilling last note and verse on “A New Life.”  And in a British accent cage match, her cockney would beat the living crap out of Maroulis’ high Brit. 

Trish hated the physical production, though it didn’t bother me.  Compared to the scaffolding of the originally production, this seemed positively lush.  At times the projections did seem like overkill.  Come on, producers, give the audience a little credit for having some kind of imagination.  And I actually liked the steampunk-inspired costume designs.

If you didn’t get a chance to catch this production, too bad.  It’s closing seven weeks early due to low ticket sales. 

Annie

Annie
Palace Theatre
Friday, Feb 8, 8pm performance

After years obsessing over this show's thrilling overture on the original Broadway cast recording - sadly cut to shreds in the current revival - I finally got a chance to see my first, live stage performance of Annie. 
 
Thanks to Storm Nemo, Trish, me and visiting friend, Dylan, scored ninth row center orchestra seats via the half-price TKTS booth.  Given the storm, it was no surprise the curtain went up nearly 15 minutes late.  The real surprise came at 8:00 PM when we turned to survey the nearly half-empty theatre.  I had a flashback to the 2004 Broadway production of Dracula, The Musical.  At that yawn-inducing performance, I shared the entire balcony with just one other pathetic show queen, my legs draped over the seatback in front of me, half dozing and waiting for Kelli O’Hara’s nude scene.

Sadly, nothing as exciting as Kelli’s bare breasts is on display at the Palace. 

In the title role, spunky Lilla Crawford possesses a freakishly high and unusually pleasant belt.  And yes, I got nostalgically misty-eyed when she reached the penultimate refrain of “Tomorrow,” but it was tough to get past some of her rather - how shall I put it? - "extreme" acting choices.  I know it’s a dick move to pick on an 11-year-old, but hell, she’s got two more Broadway credits than I do, so she’ll need to suck it up.  

In fairness, James Lapine should probably carry the burden of guilt for many of these questionable choices (i.e. Annie literally having a full-on screaming fit when Warbucks tries to take her pendant).  From the very opening scene, moodily lit and draped in fake stage smoke, to the entrance of the super-scary, seemingly Gestapo-trained Hannigan (Katie Finneran), it’s obvious the artistic team was going for a darker, more “real” Annie.  But I’m not sure the orphanage scenes should read like DVD extras off of "Schindler's List."

To her credit, Finneran balances this darkness with the same quirky sense of humor that made her a stand-out (and Tony winner!) in the 2010 Broadway revival of Promises, Promises.  But at the performance I attended, her usually perfect comic timing seemed a bit off - perhaps a combination of the late start and storm - though she seemed to find her groove again about midway through the first act.

The choreography by In The Heights alum Andy Blankenbuehler had not a whiff of period authenticity, but was always interesting if at times bizarrely modern.  His only true miss was the unfortunate closing tap number.  There’s something definitely amiss when your dancing ensemble of Broadway vets looks like it was plucked from a community theatre production of Dames At Sea.

The physical production was also a series of hits and misses.  The opening tableau, the orphanage and Warbucks’ mansion felt appropriately full and sumptuous, but the entire NYC montage took place on a mainly bare stage with only a few cheesy digital effects projected onto the sprawling, back scrim. 

The small adult ensemble sounded gorgeous, but their numbers could barely fill the huge Palace stage in the large ensemble scenes. No amount of costume changes could cover the fact that the same six exhausted cast members kept running back on stage.

The orphans are all appropriately cute and obviously talented, but even with the Benetton-ad diversity, they are for the most part, indistinguishable (again, I blame the direction).

Rooster and Lily are appropriately bumbling, finding the right combination of comic silliness to balance this productions penchant for gritty realism.  J. Elaine Marcos successfully straddles the line of political correctness, imbuing Lily with the clueless naivete of Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles while sounding like a surly Chinese take-out waitress.

Anthony Warlow is the perfect Warbucks, handsome and possessing a gorgeous ringing, legit baritone voice.  The theatre queen in me is practically squealing at the thought of his Ben Stone or Guido Contini.

Brynn O’Malley is adequately prim and proper as Grace, but is also oddly cold and aloof.  One wonders why Warbucks is even attracted to her.  And why does she have a British accent?

The current revival is slick, well-produced, with several very good - and a couple of great - moments, but ultimately didn’t satisfy as a theatrical whole.

On a side note, while waiting for the subway at 49th Street and discussing the show, some random guy jumped into our conversation, having obviously been eavesdropping from nearby.  Not creepy at all.  Of course, if he had looked like Ryan Gosling rather than Newman from Seinfeld, I'd probably not have minded so much.  And yes, I totally admit how superficial that seems, but I guess that's why Ted Bundy was so successful.

Nice Work If You Can Get It or Crazy-For-You Lite

Nice Work If You Can Get It
Imperial Theatre
Thursday, Feb 7, 7pm

Seriously, can we please set-up a statute of limitation for the use of “Someone To Watch Over Me” in a Broadway show?  At least another 50 years, please?  Sure, it’s a classic, but the Gershwins did write other love songs, ya’ know.

Sorry, rant over.  Anyway – why “Crazy-For-You” Lite?  Well, unlike Crazy For You, this little Gershwin bauble isn’t based on an existing Gershwin show, but created from scratch by looting the Gershwin catalogue and throwing together what is supposed to be a capricious tale of a millionaire playboy and a tomboy bootlegger.  It’s apparently “based on material” by Guy Bolton and P.G.Wodehouse, whatever that means, since it was nominated for Best NEW Musical at the 2012 Tony Awards.

It’s also not quite as funny, the book writing isn’t nearly as tight, the songs aren’t integrated quite as well and the production numbers aren’t nearly as clever or exciting as its predecessor.

So I hated it, right?  Well, not exactly.  How can you hate a Gershwin score or the delightful (if miscast) Kelli O’Hara? 

Director/choreographer Kathleen Marshall doesn’t quite provide the needed pace and manic energy a musical farce requires.   And a 1920s musical without a single tap number?  Sacrilege!

Some of the blame can also be thrown at book writer Joe DiPietro, who does provide some solid laughs, but whose many one-liners are hit-and-miss.

I loves me some Kelli O’Hara, but she’s not quite tomboyish enough for my taste, though her singing is sublime (as usual).  She also shows a knack for whacky physical comedy in her hilarious take on “Treat Me Rough.”  Who knew?

Ferris Bueller…er, I mean, Matthew Broderick, is appealing, if a bit too stoic as playboy, Jimmy.  His intentionally underplayed characterization is an interesting choice, but one wonders why so many gals have fallen under the spell of this schlumpy, personality-free mama’s boy.

Standouts for me were the secondary couple, Robyn Hurder and Chris Sullivan (Jeannie and Duke).  Her ditzy blonde and his loveable goofball have the only real onstage chemistry.

Judy Kaye and Blythe Danner are fun, but wasted in small supporting roles.   And the costumer should be sentenced to community service at Easy Pickins for putting Ms. Danner in that unflattering black flapper dress.

If Ms. Marshall had choreographed the entire show with the same sense of frothy fun she found staging “Delishious” (spoiler alert: the ensemble spilling clown-car-like from the tiny bathtub), the show might have risen above the limitations of the book.

Oh well, just bring on a revival of Crazy For You!

Shakin’ his Broadway Bon Bon - Ricky Martin in Evita

Evita

Marriott Marquis Theatre

Saturday, Jan 5, 8pm

Menudo!  Gotta' love the 80s!

No, Ricky does not play Eva in the current Broadway revival (check out that mullet!).  Although I’d definitely pay premium prices for the sight of those waxed pecs in the white “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” gown.  And after spending an intense afternoon with Benjamin Walker’s repressed Brick, Trish and I decided a night spent with everyone’s favorite Latin dish would be just the ticket for a cold winter night.

I don’t know what voodoo witchcraft he prescribes to, but that Ricky just gets better looking with age.  I mean, he’s so glaringly attractive that you almost don’t notice he can’t act.  Perhaps I’m just a bit critical, having played the role myself years ago with staging based on the original, brilliant Hal Prince concept. 

Ricky looks and sounds wonderful, has charisma to spare and his accent adds some extra sex appeal, but he’s basically just being Ricky Martin.  I didn’t sense he had a strong connection to the story or that his character had a discernable point of view.  He also loses points for his generic “robot arm” acting gestures.  But since he’s so dreamy, I’ll give Ricky the benefit of the doubt and blame the director for any shortcomings.  I mean, if you cast a pop star with limited acting chops, you’d better direct the hell out of him or have him shirtless throughout.  Am I right, ladies?

Of course, the Latin-heavy tourist crowd (the opening cell phone announcement was made in both English and Spanish) could have cared less about silly details like acting.  And given the very loud chatter throughout the show (in Spanish, btw, so I’m not just making broad racist assumptions), most of the crowd didn’t even realize they were in a Broadway theatre and not casually lounging in their living rooms.  The gentleman next to me was literally chanting “Peron” along with the cast.  I kid you not.

Many in the theatre chat rooms have complained about Elena Roger’s vocal deficiencies.  Granted, hers is perhaps the ugliest, shrillest voice in the history of Broadway leading ladies - and that’s being generous.  Despite that, by the middle of the first act I had warmed to - or at least gotten used to - her odd vocal quality and actually quite enjoyed her performance.  Let’s face it, the show is basically a check-list of historical events with little character development inherent in the script and score.  And still, Roger’s manages to provide a thrilling, three dimensional performance without belting any high notes -- though they are sorely missed.  Her Eva is strong yet sympathetic, making her act two decline particularly moving.

Like Roger, Michael Cerveris elevates his material well beyond what on paper is a very sketchy characterization.  Though I must admit, to my ears his basso profundo always seems faked and artificial.  It doesn’t have the true bass-baritone ring of a George Hearn or James Barbour.  I guess you could say the artificiality adds to his characterization of a manipulative politician.  Or you could say he’s just faking it.

Even though I take swipes at the script and score, Evita is actually my favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber show.  It’s concise, driving and contains some of his best melodies.  When performed well, the show is visceral and exciting to watch.  But because the characters aren’t intrinsically sympathetic, it takes a great director/choreographer to make the show work.

If you don’t know the original Hal Prince staging or are only reading this review to find out if they’ve added a Che nude scene (no such luck, folks), then you can probably stop reading now. 

In no particular order, these are my specific observations of the staging and production values given my familiarity with the material and original staging (warning: spoilers ahead and probably really boring if you’re not an Evita-phile).

• For the most part, I liked the tango inflected choreography, especially in the opening “…Circus” and “Buenos Aires.”
• Tempos, especially in the first 30 minutes of the show are deathly slow and kill any momentum inherent in the rock and Latin rhythms of the score.
• The set is gorgeous, but clunky.
• Cutting the opening scene in the movie theatre is a mistake.  The scene gives the audience a frame of reference as to how much the common Argentine folks loved Eva Peron. 
• The original musical chairs concept for “Art of the Possible” makes much more sense than the weird, tango fight staging in the current production.  The point of the scene is that Peron’s ascent to power is random, like winning a game of musical chairs.  The staged fighting doesn’t nearly convey this point as clearly.
• In the original staging of “Waltz for Eva and Che,” the two dance but never touch.  To me, this is a much stronger choice since it emphasizes Che’s role as an observer, not participant.  It also visually symbolizes Eva’s wish to separate herself from her humble beginnings.
• The ensemble choral singing is superb. 

Neutered “Cat…” and Benjamin Walker's lucky towel

Richard Rodgers Theatre
Saturday, Jan 5, 2pm performance

I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow the director of the latest Broadway revival of Cat On a Hot Tin Roof managed to reduce the oozing-with-sex Scarlett Johansson into a nagging, “Real Housewife of Atlanta.” 

I’m actually a ScarJo fan and Maggie seems like a perfect fit, but her performance here is…what’s the word? -- Brash?  Un-nuanced?  I mean, even with those big pouty lips and booty, other than her accent, there’s nothing remotely sexy or “Southern” about her characterization.  In fact (spoiler alert), if Brick is gay, he might actually be turned on by this steam-rolling Maggie.

Anyway, I think the play works better when Maggie uses her sexuality to manipulate her circumstances.  It makes her character more interesting.  And really, the play is called Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, not Badger on a Hot Tin Roof or Rabid Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  As it stands, you wonder why Brick married her at all.  She seems like sort of a bitch.

Oh, to be Benjamin Walker’s towel.  It's amusing watching him try and nonchalantly “tuck” it around his privates anytime he sits down.  He seemed a bit under-energized in the first act but he grew on me as the play progressed.  It was a matinee, so I’ll throw him some slack.  Did I mention he looks good in a towel?

The director, Rob Ashford, is - surprise - gay!  No kidding - a de-sexualized Maggie, a shirtless Brick and an added “ghost of Skipper” character who Brick longingly stares at throughout the play.  It’s called “subtext” for a reason, folks.  Instead, we’re bludgeoned in the face with a pink sledgehammer.

For me, Ciaran Hinds and Debra Monk (Big Daddy and Big Mama, respectively) fare best in this revival, though Monk tends to lose her accent when she gets emotional.  The rest of the cast is adequate, but again, don’t seem the least bit “Old South.”  Having lived in Richmond, VA, which isn’t even considered the “Deep South,” I found not a whiff of recognition for any of these characters.  And trust me, I’ve known my fair share of manipulative, two-faced, Southern Belles/Bitches.

Sadly, I think this production is a missed opportunity.  On paper, the cast seems ideal, but I think the director has molded the performances in a way that doesn’t jibe with what’s on the page.  Oh well, it seems like Cat… gets revived every couple of years.  So I’m sure we’ll be getting the Selena Gomez-Justin Bieber production in 2015. 

Magnolia wilts but the south rises again on our living room table

I hate to speak ill of the Queen (Queen Latifah, that is), but last night’s African-American remake of Steel Magnolias was sort of a hot mess.  To quote my friend, Jenn Love, this remake translates “about as well as a white Soul Train.”

Like most woman and gay men (yes, a stereotype, but oh, so true) across the country, I tuned in to Lifetime last night for some sassy southern charm and a good cry.  It turns out my southern-themed dinner was way more satisfying and than this tepid, made-for-TV version.  But let’s start with the highlight of the evening, my dinner. 

After an intense afternoon at the theatre yesterday afternoon, Trish and I decided to lighten our spirits with some retail therapy in Union Square, stopping at Burlington Coat Factory for some completely un-necessary purchases before heading to Whole Foods. 

A southern spread that would make Paula Deen proud.

Using the movie as inspiration, I decided to try my hand at some slow-roasted pulled pork.  Since Trish’s friend, Billy (a tried and true southerner), was planning to join us, I opted for a Carolina-style, vinegar-based roast.  I created my own spicy dry rub and marinated our two-and-a-half pound slab of pork butt overnight.  The next morning, I got up early to throw that mother in the oven where I let it slow roast for eight hours.  By the time I pulled the slab from the oven, it had developed a thick, smoky crust and juicy pink center.  Yum. 

For sides, we went full out Paul Dean mode - fresh squeezed mint lemonade, biscuits with maple butter spread, green beans sautéed in butter and brown sugar and three-cheese mac n’ cheese with a salt and pepper potato chip crust.  Billy supplied a sweet “happy ending” to our food orgy with red velvet cupcakes from Billy’s Bakery.  (Sigh) If only the movie was as equally satisfying.    

Of course, you can’t serve up a southern supper without the proper table setting.  I mean, WWMD (What would Martha do)?  So Trish and I made sure to round out our new mason jar mugs (purchased on our Burlington trip the other day) with appropriately gaudy flowered tablecloth, fresh flowers, windowpane glass pitcher with water glasses and white dinnerware (all purchased that same afternoon from the amazing Bargain Stop).  Can I get an “Amen, girl” from the congregation please?

As for the movie, well, I'm giving these wonderful women a pass this time and just content myself with re-watching The Help and Last Holiday.

If at first you don't succeed...

Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark

Foxwoods Theatre, Saturday, May 14

2pm performance

Well, it’s definitely improved, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s “good.”  It’s actually a fascinating study on how two different creative teams using the same cast, physical production and composer adapt the same story.  The Taymor version was an incoherent, often boring, but always visually stunning mess. The current production is vastly clearer, better directed, but safely (and still gorgeously) predictable. 

The book has been vastly improved by cutting the Geek chorus and most of Arachne’s role.  And where Taymor was mostly concerned with imagery and spectacle, the current production has instead rightly chosen to strengthen and develop the many relationships (Peter & Mary Jane, Peter & his Aunt/Uncle, Osborn & wife).  Playwright Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa has done the best he could under the circumstances, creating an intelligible story while also trying to shoe-horn in existing tunes and plot (in just three weeks).  In Taymor’s version, the characters seemed secondary to her iconic designs. 

The choreography is still head-scratchingly - for lack of a better word - odd.  It’s very Janet Jackson a la Rhythm Nation (see picture left and compare to military song in Act 1 - I'll try to post a pic if they ever publish one), but seems thrown in just to give the dancing chorus something to do and not at all in line with the angsty alt rock score.  

The flying is all still there, but smartly relegated mostly to Act 2 instead of right up front as in the previous incarnation.  As a college director told me once regarding my acting in a scene, “Don’t blow your wad too early or you’ve got no where to go.”  At least I think he was talking about my acting.  Ah well, wise words regardless of the situation.

Though only one song has been added, the existing score has definitely been re-arranged and augmented.  There are actually a couple of solid musical theatre songs in the second act (“Rise Up”, “Say It Now”), but a large chunk of the score is just generic rock. 

According to the blogosphere, many lyrics have also been changed.  But to be honest, the sound was so bad the first time around (they’ve since fixed this problem) that I have nothing for comparison.  

For those of you who care, the biggest changes I noticed:

• Aunt Mae is no longer written as a bitch
• Uncle Ben doesn’t get run over by a car but killed in a home burglary
• Mary Jane’s father is now just a pathetic, helpless drunk rather than an angry drunk
• The Arachne-Peter dream wedding and set are completely cut
• The creation and appearance of the Sinister Six is now much more clearly explained
• Green Goblin is now the main protagonist through the entire show
• The two guitar players are no longer standing on the edge of the stage
• No more eight-legged shoe song for Arachne
• There are actually jokes written into the script (the original was a humorless bore)
• There’s now actually an arc to the Peter-Mary Jane story so they don’t just fall in love and break-up out of nowhere
• Though there’s more dialogue, they’ve managed to trim about 30 mins from the original 3-hour-plus running time

Incidentally, no one fell, nothing got stuck and nobody broke any bones.  I’d give the new production a solid C+ and the new artistic team an A for effort.  Shout out to replacement director Phil McKinley who directed me eons ago at The Fireside Theatre in Christmas Around the World.  And yes, that show was as cheesy as it sounds.   

Spider-man and other random crap

The worker's comp claims are piling up over at the Foxwood's theatre.  And I thought WE were pushing the boundary by making our kids do full-out production numbers in 100 degree heat wearing wool costumes in an un-air-conditioned theatre in the summer (try and say that sentence out loud in one breath).*  Damn that Julie Taymor.  She's one-upped as again! 

The latest casualty of Spider-man is Christopher Tierney, an aerialist and actor who reportedly plunged 28 feet after a safety rigging failed (or was improperly hooked up - still under investigation).  Watch the video here.  I don't mean to make light of an obviously horrific accident, but come on already - a broken toe, two broken wrists (on the same actor), a concussion (sidelining the lead actress for two weeks) and now reported broken ribs and internal bleeding?  That has got to be some kind of a record.  This is Broadway, not Olympic bobsledding.  They need to just go back to the drawing board and compose a better score, write a more compelling book and just tell us a good freakin' story. 

All this flying and acrobatics while impressive and fun are merely diamonds on a necklace made of dog shit.  If I want to see ridiculous feats of physical strength and acrobatics strung along by a wisp of a plot and atmospheric music I'll go see a Cirque de Soleil show.  At least the Cirque cast has been training most of their lives to hone their skills.  I'm not sitting in the audience worrying whether someone may plunge to their death.  I'd go further and add that last summer's Cirque offering, Ovo, had a much more effective and theatrical score than Spidey.  That's just sad.

Anyway, enough about Spider-man, we have our very own stage spectacular to worry about, The Very Merry Pineda Holiday Spectacular!  Yes, folks, it's almost time for the third installment of our annual Holiday extravaganza.  Val has been going crazy coordinating rehearsals for over 80 current students, alumni and parents.  It's been a revolving door at the rehearsal hall and between final exams, vacations, all the schools' holiday concerts, and general season busy-ness, we won't even have a final cast count until the night of the performance.  I'm hoping the stage at the CDC can handle all that weight. 

Anyone not familiar with our off-the-wall family variety show is in for a pleasant (?) surprise.  Where else can you see small children singing inappropriate songs, dancing reindeer, Val in a candy cane suit, me in drag and Santa Claus?  Well, that's just business as usual at Pineda Conservatory.  Hopefully, child protective services never gets wind of us.

Speaking of children, what better way to guarantee the holiday "aww" factor than throwing a few rugrats into your act.  Yes, my friends, I've resorted to the highest form of audience manipulation, small children!  Cute little Suzy will deflect any criticism of my flat singing, botched lyrics or cracked high notes.  It's a win - win for all!  Don't judge.

*Below is a video of Peter Carmo and the ensemble in last summer's Meet Me in St. Louis performing "Banjos."  You would never know it was near 100 degrees in the theatre.  They just keep on smiling and strumming in full tuxes and gowns.  Child abuse?  I'd say we're "instilling character."  Potato - Potahto.

Kardashians are to Spider-man as...

Brace yourselves, kiddies, this is going to be a long one.  Trish and I saw Spider-man: Turn off the Dark last week in previews at the Ford Center...I mean Hilton Theatre...I mean Foxwoods Theatre (corporate sponsorship, gotta' love it!) for its third public performance.  The national papers, TV networks, blogs and chatrooms have been abuzz with nonstop gossip and innuendo over the most expensive Broadway show in theatre history. 

First off, that title is just awful and really has nothing to do with the show except for a casual reference in one lyric.  It's surprising I was even able to catch that lyric given the horrifically bad sound design, but more on that later.  And that hyphen?  I know, I know, that's how Stan Lee spelled the character's name in the original comic book, but it's just awkward and looks ugly.

My post title pretty much sums up my feelings for the show as it stands after three previews.  Spider-man is like a Kardashian - a lot of money spent to look good, but not much substance.  Yes, Taymor gives us some spectacular visuals and a gorgeous design that makes you almost forget about the clunky book, mostly un-theatrical score, banal lyrics and unintelligible Arachne mythology in the second act.  Almost.  Don't get me wrong, I love U2 and own plenty of their CD's.  Yes, I still have a CD player and yes, I actually play CD's on it.  Call me old-fashioned.  But much of the score is basically tuneless, generic alt-rock that at times badly mimics the genuinely eerie film scores of Danny Elfman.  Why not just hire Danny Elfman?  They could have also thrown this one to theatre composer Tom Kitt (Next to Normal) or to keep with "rock names", David Bryan (Memphis and Bon Jovi) or Jim Steinman (who gave us the even more awful Dance of the Vampires but which at least had some great tunes.  Who doesn't love "Total Eclipse of the Heart"?).  I can't believe I'm going to suggest this, but I'd even give Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber a shot, in hopes he could pull another Superstar or Evita out of his ass.

Just because you can write a good song doesn't mean you can write a good THEATRE song.  What's catchy and profound on the radio can sound cliche or just downright silly in a theatrical setting (i.e. "turn off the dark" - huh?  Seriously, isn't this just an obnoxious way to say "turn on the light"?).  Theatre songs have to move plot along, illuminate character or hopefully, both.  Most songs in this score do neither.  It isn't a total wash-out.  There are two pretty ballads in the second act, both are duets between Peter and Mary Jane sung beautifully by Reeve Carney and Jennifer Damiano.  The latter of whom is totally wasted in an underwritten, underdeveloped role.  Happily, the orchestration and muddy sound design don't interfere with the (mostly trite, faux-expressionist) lyrics here.  Speaking of sound design, there were 5-6 minute stretches where I literally couldn't understand a single word or lyric uttered on the stage.  Conservatively, I'd say 40 percent of the lyrics were lost under heavy reverb, over-amplified orchestra and unclear staging.  It seemed Taymor was more interested in creating stunning visual images than creating a cohesive narrative.

Realistically, with a lot of editing, tightening and score-tweaking, the first act is definitely salvageable.  Taymor's work with perspective and imagery is often inspired and the familiarity of the story sweeps you along in spite of the sound and book problems.  But it all falls apart in the second act when Taymor's Arachne character takes center stage. 

The Arachne myth has potential, but again, it seems Taymor's forsaken clarity for the sake of beautiful pictures.  The character isn't developed enough and the myth itself has so many holes in it that I was often confused or simply didn't care.  And I'm sure I wasn't alone on this one considering the many yawns emanating from the audience members sitting around me.  Yes, I was actually bored during the second act.  And what's with all the video?  I can appreciate the technology as an aid to story-telling, but we're literally watching a movie for 15 minutes of the second act (10 minutes of which could be cut and not missed at all).   I honestly don't think the second act can be fixed without shutting down the show for a couple of weeks and re-working it.  This is a luxury I'm sure this production can't afford, considering they're already in the hole for $65 million. 

And that brings us to the flying.  Yes, it's impressive and definitely something that's never been seen in a Broadway show, at least not on this scale.  Although for my money, the flying - or perhaps more accurately, the flight - in Mary Poppins is more of a "wow" moment for me because you don't see wires and because the single occurrence makes it somehow more special.  In Spidey, it starts to get a bit redundant by the time the second act rolls around.  It's basically the same three or four patterns over and over again.  I'm not saying they need to increase the intricacy level, but maybe instead of a tenth flying pass there could be, oh, I don't know, a coherent book scene that actually moves the plot forward?  I know, I'm such a traditionalist.  Or how about going the complete opposite route.  Fuck the book and just make it all action, flying and spectacle.  Either method would improve the current product immensely.  And I use "product" rather than production here, because that's exactly what it feels like - a well-packaged marketing tool for the Spider-man brand presented under the guise of art.  There's nothing wrong with that, but expectations wouldn't be quite so high had the producers just fessed up to it in the first place.

I'm happy to report the stage manager only stopped the show once for about 5 minutes in the first act when it appeared there was some tangled wiring during the first flight sequence.  Still, I was unable to fully engage in the flying sequences because in the back of my mind, I was always fearful for the actors and their safety.  In a Cirque de Soleil show, it's obvious that the stunts are being performed by highly trained acrobats who have spent a lifetime honing their skills.  I always feel they are in complete control of their bodies and their surroundings - not so in Spidey.  All the stunts seem to be quite dangerous and seemingly difficult to control with any degree of consistency given the unpredictability of live performance and the inevitable variances with understudies and replacements.  The actors are at the mercy of the stagehands as far as timing, velocity and accuracy of movement.  Not that I don't trust the stagehands, but the actors don't seem to possess much control.  Seriously, three actors are already out of the show: one hurt his foot, another broke both wrists attempting a flying stunt and the lead actress was out with a concussion the night we attended after being hit in the head with a flying rope.  Nuff' said?

Back to the physical production, what's up with the costumes in the Daily Bugle scenes?  The high school kids (including Peter and Mary Jane) are in modern dress, but everyone working in the Daily Bugle are in 1940's period costumes - not to mention anachronistically using typewriters to dictate copy.  What time period are we in? 

With all that said, the creative team does have until mid-January to get their act together.  I'll have to give them the benefit of the doubt until the sucker actually opens.  I just don't see realistically how they can overhaul this behemoth given the constraints of the technical design.  Even the lighting, striking though it is, seems to have a new cue every half second or so.  Any small change will likely take days just to program into the computer.  I think the best we can hope for is tweaking of the book scenes, which would greatly improve, but not fix, many of the shows narrative problems.  I'll definitely pay another visit after opening, granted I can afford a ticket, to see what's changed. 

Spider-man and ...

...Kim - separated at birth?

Elling and more starf*cking

Poor Elling.  Less than a week after opening it’s posted a closing notice.  That’s really quite sad.  I’m surprised they didn’t just keep the thing running for another couple of weeks to at least allow Tony voters see it.  No performances = no chance for Tony voters to view = no Tony nominations = no way to market it for licensing.  The producers have basically guaranteed no one will ever produce this play again.

Granted, it’s no Death of a Salesman, but it’s an entertaining, escapist new comedy (although based on a movie, but hell, nothing new there).  I’m also surprised that it wasn’t able to eek out even a few weeks on Broadway given star casting.  Denis O’Hare, Brendan Fraser and Jennifer Coolidge are recognizable Hollywood names.  If that combined threesome can’t sell tickets, it doesn’t bode well for the future of new plays on Broadway.  I guess I should’ve seen the writing on the wall given Trish and I were able to score opening night tickets on TDF!  I know, how sad is it they couldn’t sell the place out for opening night?  There were actually empty seats in the back of the mezzanine. 

The play itself has its charms.  Though I think O’Hare and Fraser were over-selling a bit.  The quirkiness of the characters might have been more interesting if not always played for easy laughs.  In this case, subtlety was definitely not a directorial choice.  They might have had something here had the producers chosen a smaller, Off-Broadway house and if the director chose to downplay the “cute crazy people” aspect and instead emphasize the difficulties that come with unwillingly being thrown into a “sane” world.  Regardless, by the second act I was won over by the obvious chemistry between the two leads and by the deliciously funny Coolidge as a smoking, drinking pregnant neighbor.  Translated from a Norwegian source, perhaps some of the quirky fun of the original text has been lost in translation. 

The best part of the evening though was audience watching.  Given the cast’s star wattage, Hollywood types dotted the opening night audience.  I spotted TR Knight, George Takei, Victor Garber, Fisher Stevens and Brian D’Arcy James.  Andy Karl and a jewel-bedecked Orfeh were a few rows in front of us.  Apparently, Sam Rockwell, Angela Lansbury, Rachel Dratch, Vincent Pastore, Blair Brown, Paul Wesley and Jamie-Lynn Sigler were all there as well, but I didn’t happen to see them. 

Holy understudies!

Trish and I were slightly shocked walking into the Palace Theatre last night to see the cast board list BOTH Tony AND Maria out of that evening’s performance. Luckily, both standbys were on rather than understudies, so at least the rest of the cast was intact. I’m sure Trish would have stormed the box office demanding a refund had her Equity boyfriend, Curtis Holbrook, been out as well. We couldn’t help but laugh, considering I purchased the tickets on a whim four hours before the performance. Supposedly sold out for the rest of the week, I checked online to see if there were any newly released tickets. Sure enough, two center, first row, front mezzanine seats materialized. Crediting good birthday karma (Happy 39th Birthday to me!), I snatched them up certain this was God’s personal gift to me. I guess this was his way of telling me that nothing good in life comes that easy.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful to those hard-working actors, but how can you not be slightly disappointed when not just one, but both lead actors are out of a show? And the lead couple, no less? I do give props to both Matthew Hydzik (on for Matt Cavanaugh’s Tony) and Haley Carlucci (on for Josefina Scaglione’s Maria) who were solid and for the most part confident in the roles. Both have strong acting chops and were vocally adequate, but were definitely missing some much needed chemistry. I can’t really blame them. How can you be “in the moment” when you’re probably thinking, “Is my next quick change on stage left or stage right?” There were a couple of “deer-in-headlight” moments - notably in the park-and-bark sections of "Tonight" and "One Hand, One Heart" - but these seemed to be a directorial choice. And I’m sure he was directed this way, but Hydzik seemed way too wide-eyed and “clean” to pass for a former rough-and-tumble gang member. I mean, my mom could probably beat the sh*t out of Tony as played last night by Hydzik. And I know it was lifted from the movie, but would a gang member, even a very stylish one, be caught wandering the barrio in a shiny purple suit? I mean, I own a red velvet sport jacket that’s less gay than that purple suit…which leads to may next minor quibble.

I know the thrilling Jerome Robbins choreography demands dancers of impeccable technique and virtuosity, but the buffed out Chelsea-boy type doesn’t necessarily convey rough and world weary. It wasn’t that these boys seemed necessarily pretty or clean cut, but as Trish pointed out, they seemed “soft” - like an all Upper East Side prep school gang - not very intimidating. I’d have to note Curtis Holbrook as an exception. Though it’s written into his character, Holbrook was most successful in portraying the pent up rage that could make an audience believe he’d resort to murder.

All the controversy of the added Spanish text and the translation of some of the song lyrics is much ado about nothing. Though at times the revisions did heighten the audience’s understanding of the cultural barriers intrinsic to the plot, they didn’t really prove revelatory in any way. They were harmless, but in the end, un-needed and maybe a bit gimmicky. As a regular opera attendee, I don’t agree that language necessarily adds cultural resonance to a work. If an opera composer was Italian, his opera was in Italian regardless of where it takes place or the ethnicity of the characters. I guess what I’m really saying is, “If it ain’t broke, don't fix it.”

Karen Olivo, having to distinguish herself from two iconic portrayals (by Chita and Rita), creates a more earthy and sexual Anita than her predecessors. People were complaining that her dancing was “lacking.” But as a full package, I think she’s pretty amazing. She’s so strong (and tall) that I was convinced she could easily whoop some of those pansy-ass Jets in the closing rape scene. And relevant to nothing, she's part Asian! (Puerto Rican, Dominican and Chinese - you better work, sister!)

But in the end, the incredible Bernstein score and the Robbins choreography elevated the show above all of my complaints. Is there any show written or produced in the last ten years that even comes close to it in quality and scope? I don’t think so. I guess with the continued commercialization of Broadway, the hope of seeing another West Side Story in our time seems kinda’ doubtful, but I’m still hoping.

On a side note - plenty of "celeb" sightings this evening: Camryn Mannheim eating dinner two tables down from us at the Edison, Cody Green walking down Broadway next to Trish and Aaron Tveit riding the N train after the show with us.

Who we didn't see last night in West Side Story, Josefina Scaglione and Matt Cavanaugh

Don Giovanni w/ Netrebko's baby-daddy

I admit it. The #1 reason I went to see the Met’s current production of Don Giovanni was to catch “Hott Schrott” (aka Anna Natrebko’s baby-daddy) shirtless. I mean for Pete’s sake, it’s the Metropolitan Opera. How often does half-naked eye candy cross that stage? Sure, they have their ballet dancers, but this is an opera singer. You heard me right, an opera singer. And a straight one at that - surely a sign of the Apocalypse. I wanted proof that this unicorn actually exists. Anyhoo, the Met knows when to exploit a good thing, because we only had to wait for his first entrance to catch the shirtless baritone virtually humping poor (or lucky?) Donna Anna (a beautifully-voiced Krassimira Stoyanova) on the long staircase that dominates the first act set. And damn, he's also got a huge . . . voice - though it seemed a bit unfocused last night. He plays pompous great, but if the gossip columns are to be believed, he's just playing himself. Regardless, he was an impressive and well-cast Giovanni.

But the real surprise of the evening - oxymoron alert - was the handsome Leporello, Ildebrando D'Arcangelo. Can you imagine two hottie baritones singing at the Met in the same production? Times sure have changed. When I was studying voice at conservatory, my teachers told me it was OK to carry some spare padding around the middle for added resonance. I guess I can't use that as an excuse anymore. Regardless, D'Arcangelo was funny and charming and possesses a large, warm, round voice. Hope to see more of him in the future.

Donna Anna's bell-like soprano - pure, clear and perfectly placed - was matched by lyric tenor, Matthew Polenzani, who impressed with endless legato phrasing. He never seemed to breathe. Unfortunately, mezzo Susan Graham, in the demanding role of Donna Elvira, didn't fare as well. Although a large voice, she always seemed to be pushing and often sang under pitch. The role is definitely not a good match for her. And given her fach, I'm surprised that she even considered performing it.

The physical production was bare, but adequate. And the staging, at least the first act, was better than usual for the Met (i.e. no "park and bark"). I would even say it was clever and original. But that second act? What were they thinking. It was as if they spent all their time rehearsing the first act and all of a sudden found themselves at opening night without having rehearsed the second act. The graveyard scene was totally lame. No better than your neighbor's front lawn Halloween display. It basically consisted of a stone grave that spit out pathetic wafts of smoke every time the (offstage?) voice of the Commendatore sang. I want my big stone statue coming to life, dammit!

Giovanni's descent into hell was even more disappointing. I mean, come on, this is the Met. Where were the flames? the pyrotechnics? the excitement? They actually made the Commendatore sing behind a plexiglass wall so his entire last scene sounded like he was singing into a paper bag - all muffled and dead. And I say they made him do it, because no singer in his right mind would agree to sing behind a wall knowing he'd have to fill a cavern the size of the Met. And then it snowed. WTF? It snowed for his descent into hell? Made no sense at all. And it wasn't like he was dragged down into hell. He literally stepped in front of the Commendatore and seemed to willingly be sucked into the floor. Slowly. Really slowly. I mean, he could have totally stepped off that platform, condsidering the glacial pace it was descending into the floor, and saved himself from eternal damnation. Oh well, I guess I can't complain. Half a good production is better than nothing.

I need show ticks. STAT!

I'm totally going through show withdrawal. I mean, I haven't been in a theatre (movies don't count, fyi: I saw The Ruins last Thursday- gross, but in a good way) in a week! It's embarrassing, but I'm actually becoming one of those show freaks that I used to make fun of.

When I was performing full-time (read happy but starving) I had neither the time nor the economic means to accommodate a lifestyle of weekly theatrical consumption. I take that back. I had plenty of free time (when I wasn't participating in Shakespeare readings, tap class, Alexander technique sessions, Lincoln Center archive study and...oh, who am I kidding, I just went to the gym and watched a lot of TV), but not during that magic 8PM time slot. And who can afford to go to the theater on an actor's salary anyway? Well, now that I'm transitioning into the actor/director category - watch your back Joe Mantello - attending shows feels more like research and less about making fun of people you don't like or grumbling about how much better you would have been in fill-in-the-blank's role. 

Luckily, I'll get my fix Thursday when Trish and I go see the off-Broadway play, Good Boys and True. And yes, I do actually see plays, too. But hopefully I'll get my fix sooner, since I'm planning to try and TKTS A Catered Affair tomorrow night. And I cannot believe I just used TKTS as a verb.

For anyone interested, the production of Oklahoma! that I'm co-directing and choreographing opens in two weeks. I hear you snickering Chris Johnson. I am equally as surprised and confounded that I have suddenly become a choreographer. We shall never again speak of the hours you spent watching me stumble through the hand jive lo those many years ago on tour. Anyway, we've been rehearsing for over a month now and I can't wait for it to just start running already. I know that sounds like an unusually long rehearsal period, but it is community theatre, so we only get to rehearse on the weekends and maybe one other day mid-week.

The community theatre dynamic is quite interesting. Although the same type of political bullsh*t occurs in professional theatre, at least everyone's getting paid to put up with it. Well, I guess in community theatre at least the production team is paid. Well, actually just the choreographer and musical director, but NOT the actual DIRECTOR (at least at this theatre)! The person in charge of the show's artistic vision/concept/staging is not compensated, but the choreographer is? What the f*ck?

Not that the choreographer shouldn't be compensated, but the director's work is at least of equal import. Is it any wonder that community theatre has the reputation it has? Does it make sense to pay the construction workers and contractor of a building project but not the architect? Does it make sense to pay the navigator and the cruise director of a ship but not the captain? It makes absolutely no sense to me. Maybe someone in the community theatre ranks can explain this rationale to me. But that's a totally a rant for a different day. Anyway, despite all that, I'm very proud of this production and the cast of local actors who have dedicated their free time and weekends to sweating it out with me and the other Pinedas.

Never ending rehearsals, Anything Goes and Les Mis casting

My life right now is an endless loop of rehearsals - first Madama Butterfly, now Oklahoma and starting next week, Pirates of Penzance. I have to admit the Butterfly cast spoiled me. All eight principals were off book from the start of rehearsal. Unlike my Oklahoma cast where only one principal, our Laury, has ever shown up off book. It’s been painfully obvious that some have even shown up to rehearsal never having read through the script. Really? I mean, if you’re cast as the lead of a show I’d think you’d at least read through the damn book so you’d know what the hell was going on. I understand that it’s community theater, but still. Work ethic, anyone? Hopefully, this will improve since we’ve asked the stage manager to send out an email requiring cast to be off book by the end of the month. I’m probably being harsh, but it’s odd when someone else’s “hobby” is your life’s vocation. Regardless, it’s no excuse considering everyone in the Butterfly cast, although granted they are professional singers, all have day jobs as well. And the score to Butterfly is way more difficult and in a foreign language to boot! I mean, how can you call yourself a musical theater performer, pro or not, and not know the lyrics to the title song of Oklahoma!? I even know them in Chinese for God’s sake (I used it to audition for Broadway’s Thoroughly Modern Millie and got called back). On an up-note, "Kansas City" is basically staged and choreographed, so that’s one dance number crossed off the list - only three more and a ballet to go!

Saturday night Trish, Val and I went to Westfield High School’s production of Anything Goes. As I’ve stated in earlier posts, I’m trying to be somewhat restrained when commenting on “non-professional” shows since so many of our kids are involved in them. Before going further, I want to make it clear that we did enjoy the show and thought that most of the performances were excellent. But I do have a few “what the f*ck?” items that I need to at least air out so that I can move on. First, when did “move center stage and sing directly at the audience” become an acceptable direction for a song in a musical? Reno, whose belt was off the hook and definitely has the chops to pursue musical theater professionally, impressed despite some horrific direction. She had to deliver “I Get a Kick Out of You” way across the stage from Billy Crocker (the “kickee”) and straight out to the audience while Billy sat facing away from and ignoring her. Did the song take place in her head? Was it a dream sequence? Was Billy temporarily deafened by Reno’s belt? Note to director: Reno’s trying to seduce Billy. In this version, she was trying to seduce him telepathically from across the stage. More odd was that some songs were "correctly" directed as "scenes-set-to-music" while others received the “stand-center-and-sing-out-Louise" treatment. Luckily, most of the performers overcame the bad direction through sheer talent. I won’t mention the choreography, except to say that a good choreographer will find a way to make everyone look good and include everyone in production numbers. Not just six people, who although executed impressive sounding taps, were rendered with bland movement (how’s that for passive-aggressive commentary?). I know several “good-movers” and dancers in the show who were relegated to the back row as scenery or just plain left off the stage. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but the opening number to our Millie last summer was way more impressive yet probably not as technically difficult as any number in Anything Goes while still allowing the entire cast to perform. Although the ship set was impressive, it begged the question, “Did you spend all your money on your top deck and run out of money for costumes?” Several girls who I know to be quite slim and pretty looked like dowdy middle-aged women in shapeless sacks. I apologize if that was the “look” they were going for, but I highly doubt it. I am happy to say that three of our students, Billy Geltzheiler, Ellen Scariati and Mia Pafumi all created extremely funny, well-sung and well-developed characters (pat on the Pinedas' collective back) despite many hurdles. I also have to give props to the men in the show who were all extremely strong and gave their female counterparts a run for their money onstage.

Also this weekend, we finally cast Les Mis. After a long morning of auditions (having had three audition dates prior to this weekend) and a node-inducing callback we finally sent out all of the offer letters by midnight on Saturday. To date, it’s been the most difficult show for us to cast since the talent was ridiculously high this year. Any number of the young actors could play these roles successfully. It really boiled down to who “fit” the role best, vocally and type-wise, for how we envision the production to look and sound. It’s both a luxury and a curse to have more than one (or three or four) people of equal talent to choose from. I’m actually very excited to start rehearsals since I have no doubt this show is going to be pretty incredible. Now how are we going to build that friggin’ barricade?!?

Some Enchanted (?) Evening..

There is nothing appealing about the prospect of watching a high school production of South Pacific (though perhaps only slightly more appealing than the prospect of seeing a high school production of Rent or Miss Saigon). Not that it’s a bad show. In fact, I think South Pacific is one of the under-rated R&H shows because it always gets overshadowed by its more popular siblings, Carousel and The Sound of Music. I mean, the score is brilliant: I’m Gonna’ Wash That Man Right of My Hair, Some Enchanted Evening, Bali H’ai, Young Than Springtime, A Wonderful Guy, Honey Bun - not a dud in the lot of ‘em. And the book unapologetically attacked racism and bigotry long before the current trend of obsessive PC-ness. The pitfall of the R&H canon is that on the surface, all the shows seem deceptively simple and “old-fashioned” because of their outward musicality, colorful locales and comedic predilections. But on closer inspection, these works were groundbreaking social commentaries: The King & I - racial stereotypes and feminism, Carousel - abusive relationships, The Sound of Music - Nazis, etc, etc. South Pacific is no exception. To quote one of its songs, “You've got to be taught to hate and fear,…You've got to be taught before it's too late, Before you are six or seven or eight, To hate all the people your relatives hate…” And remember, this was 1949! Compare that to just about any lyric in Legally Blond or The Wedding Singer.

This brings me to the high school production of South Pacific I attended last night at the Delbarton School in Morristown, NJ. Let me preface my comments by saying that I am not in the habit of reviewing “non-professional” productions. And this isn’t even really a review, just some observations about the production. Believe me, I give props to any school that has the balls not to cut its arts funding and any student brave enough to get up on stage in the face of peer ridicule. Face it, being the lead in the school musical is not the same as being the quarterback or head cheerleader. Sad, but true. Anyway, we knew we were in for an interesting evening as soon as we heard the opening "Bali H’ai" theme in the overture. Funeral march anyone? Kudos for even getting a full orchestra of students (with a sprinkling of ringers) to learn the score; but I’d rather hear half an orchestra play well/at the proper tempi than a large one where you sacrifice tempi so that the musicians can get through the score. If musician quality wasn’t the issue, than the conductor desperately needed a red bull or should have done a line of cocaine before starting the show. Anyway, my main gripes with the production weren’t the performances. By and large the cast was extremely talented and there were some truly outstanding voices onstage. My main problem was with the direction, or rather lack thereof. When a show is three-plus hours long, you can’t have the leads just stand there. The director didn’t seem to understand the basic defining principle of musical theater - that the songs are a continuation of the preceding dialogue/scene and shouldn't stop the show's forward momentum. “A Wonderful Guy” and “Wash That Man” are scenes between Nellie and the girls, not cute songs merely played to the audience. I won't even detail the problems with the choreography since they are the same as with the directing - it was random and had no relation to what was happening in the scene, the time period or the characters (just because someone can do a split or a flip doesn't mean that it's appropriate). The performers were all energetic and totally committed to what little blocking they were given. Nellie, Bloody Mary (for full disclosure, the actress playing Bloody Mary is one of Val’s students) and Emil were the obvious vocal stand outs.

It’s especially frustrating to see the obvious care and financing dedicated to the physical aspects of the production - sets, costumes, lighting (especially good), talent - not matched in the direction and staging. It is clear that a strong directorial vision would have elevated the production above your average high school fare considering the abundant talent on the stage. No matter, the talent and enthusiasm on stage was clearly visible and the audience seemed thoroughly pleased with the final result. And I guess when it comes to a high school production, there isn’t much more you can ask for.