Do, Re, Mi and so on...

This is just a fun and silly bit of hmmm...what would you call it? - Performance art, I guess? As dancer's take over a train station in Antwerp. According to one of the comments on Youtube, it was an advertisement for a reality show to choose the next Maria in an upcoming production of The Sound of Music in Belgium. I have to say, this is way more entertaining than the entire season of "Grease! - You're the One That I Want" from a couple seasons back.

My favorite spot is around 2:50 when the entire crowd breaks into the Macarena! Ha - it's like the ultimate bad-in-a-good-way wedding reception. If only people did just break out into song and dance spontaneously, the world would be a happier place.

Happiness 4/5

Well, between Happiness and Next To Normal, I can safely say that just because something moves you to tears doesn’t mean that it’s good. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Happiness is bad (although the commercial reviews would suggest otherwise), it’s just not great. I can’t really explain the shows shortcomings without exposing its plot, so if you don’t want to know the major plot twist, best to stop reading now.

A group of people find themselves trapped in a subway car and must choose the perfect moment from their lives. Upon choosing, they are released from the train car and live in that moment for perpetuity. Yes, the writers make use of some pretty clichéd scenarios to manipulate you emotionally - first baseball game with your dad, waiting at the hospital bed of your dying lover, pledge of love to a doomed soldier - but they do the job. The problem is that about half of the passengers’ stories are just not as well written / musically interesting as the other half. So after about the fifth story, I was left wondering, “I get it - live life to the fullest, don’t take your time on earth for granted, stop and smell the roses - yadda, yadda, yadda...but so what?” It was like reading a book of Stephen King’s short stories; the first couple are interesting, but then you get kind of bored and have to put it down. Same thing here, but I couldn’t leave since the show is nearly two hours with no intermission.

The huge cast of prominent musical theatre vets (Hunter Foster, Sebastian Arcelus, Joanna Gleason) do wonderful work elevating the material above clichéd treacle, but in the end I was left wondering if there was a point to this meta-physical exercise. Perhaps it would have been more interesting to examine the idea of re-living the same event forever. Would you get bored? What if you chose the wrong moment? What if your memory of that moment was different from what actually happened? And although the subway conductor’s situation was summed up in a song, it might have been interesting to explore how he copes with his job. How can he perpetually watch others discover their perfect moment when he’s stuck in a subway car forever? To me, exploring these questions would have added some needed depth to the Lifetime “movie-of-the-week” feeling of the whole project. Granted, sometimes I am in the mood for a Lifetime Channel tearjerker, but I was hoping for something more considering the writing team’s previous Broadway outing brought us the emotionally complex Grey Gardens.

The set, an ever revolving subway car - the passengers should have known something was up just by the sparkling, pristine car - and ever changing backdrops were effectively used to create several different locations and eras. Choreographer/director, Susan Stroman, uses the small space effectively and efficiently given the large cast size. For $21 TDF tickets, it was well worth seeing this top notch cast. And truly not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon. It just seemed like a wasted opportunity to explore some interesting notions of what constitutes happiness and our ideas of the afterlife.

Next To Normal 4/2

I just reread my review of the off-Broadway production from last year at Second Stage. I can happily report that some of the problems I witnessed then have been fixed - notably the weird “rock concert” that ended act one (“Feeling Electric” has been completely excised from this version). But alas, the show remains a valiant, but flawed attempt. And though the show is often quite moving, at times the pace seem a bit ponderous. The first act starts off promisingly enough, but the last half hour of the act could easily be cut by 15-20 minutes. Granted, you’d lose some interesting musical material, but not much happens. She’s crazy, we get it, move on.

Likewise, everything that happens in the second act could easily be condensed into a tight 45 minutes without losing its emotional impact. There are a string of consecutively played, emotionally charged scenes. The audience literally sniffles and cries through the act. I think “intense” might even be an understatement. Sure, there’s some great writing here, but every scene seems just a verse too long. It’s not that I have a short attention span (I never got bored through three hours of August: Osage County and I can sit through hours of opera) but I don’t think the material, as written, is strong enough to sustain the drama. The score is harmonically, rhythmically and lyrically interesting, but missing soaring, heart-breaking melodies (which is not the same as high and loud, which this score has plenty of) that keep you invested after you’ve grown immune to the indie rock rhythms. There are no doubt catchy tunes and some interesting pop hooks, but the score lacks a true melodic touchdown - there’s no “Not A Day Goes By” or “If I Loved You” or even, I can’t believe I’m writing this, a “Memory.” Sure, “I Miss the Mountains” is an incredible musical monologue, but it’s strength is in it’s lyric more than in it’s melodic interest.

Perhaps the physical design may be to blame for many of the productions shortcomings. The direction is fluid and interesting, but the set design, which granted is quite striking, forces everything to happen in a four foot strip at the front of the stage. Even the many levels can’t make up for the “flatness” of the playing space. It’s used well, but soon all the staging becomes monotonous due to the stage constraints coupled with the “sameness” of the score.

Performances across the board were exceptional, great nuanced acting coupled with strong voices. J. Robert Spencer does an admirable job as the father, but I miss Brian D’Arcy James’ singing voice. Spencer’s is beautiful, but musical theatre generic. Alice Ripley plays crazy extremely well, but I still hear some definite vocal issues that were more evident off-Broadway. When she’s on, she’s on, and her power belt is thrilling. But she often sings flat. It wasn’t too bothersome, but mark my words, in five or ten years if she doesn’t pay attention to it now, she’s gonna’ have a chronic flat belt. Maybe she couldn’t hear the band? Before you all go ballistic and say everyone sings flat occasionally, similar belters - Julia Murney, Bernadette Peters, Audra MacDonald, Marin Mazzie, Emily Skinner - do not have this problem. Sure, everyone has a clunker here and there, but Ripley’s happens at the same spots - ends of phrases and on the peak of musically arched phrases - that’s a technique issue and not just coincidence. But enough of the vocal pedagogy class. Overall, I think this is a solid, though not entirely successful attempt from a promising writing team.

33 Variations 3/26

First, I have to say that Jane Fonda looks f*cking amazing for 62! Her plastic surgeon deserves every penny he over-charged her. She may be a hot mess up close, but from row S - stunning. As for the play, I give it a solid B+. Moises Kaufman seems drawn to this type of heavily researched history-based drama (having previously co-written The Laramie Project and directed the Tony winning I Am My Own Wife on Broadway). The parallel between Fonda’s character and Beethoven is perhaps a bit heavy-handed - genius racing to complete final masterwork before fatal disease knocks him out vs. intellectual racing to complete final thesis before fatal disease knocks her out. But the performances and the development of the relationships, particularly between the mother and daughter and the daughter and her boyfriend, made you overlook the worn dramatic device. And finally, hurray! - live music in the form of an actual human being performing the work in question, Beethoven’s 33 Variations on a waltz by Diabelli, rather than piped in sound cues.

Fonda, as I think I made clear earlier, looks fantastic and has definite star presence and fine stage chops. She needs to jog down the block to Impressionism and give Joan Allen some pointers. Sorry, I love me some Miss Joan (on the big screen) but she needs some work on her stage technique. But Susan Kellerman as an uptight German professor with a hidden soft side, nearly steals the show. Her scene about hiring a prostitute to help Fonda’s character feel “alive” again is worth the ticket price (although we only paid TDF prices). I admit, being a child of the 80’s, I kept thinking of Inga Swenson’s Nazi-like German maid, Gretchen Kraus, from "Benson" all through the first act. But once I let nostalgia drift away, I was able to better concentrate on her no-nonsense characterization. Colin Hanks (aka spawn of Tom Hanks) was quite good, too, in what could have been a forgettable secondary role and as Trish mentioned to me on exiting, “Doesn’t look as busted up close.”

On a side note, since we’re only a few weeks away from the Broadway Easter Bonnet Competition, Fonda announced that actors would be standing at the exit of the theater with buckets to collect donations for Broadway Cares / Equity Fights Aids. So of course, we brushed right by all the nobody’s and straight up to Colin Hanks’ bucket. If I’m going to give up one of Trish’s dollars, I want to at least get a close up look at a movie-star-by-association. Trish’s friend, Billy, is a huge “admirer” of Mr. Hanks. As soon as we left the theatre, Trish immediately sent Billy the following text. “My hand was inches away from Colin Hanks’ penis and he said ‘thank you very much.’” We almost went with the tamer, “My hand was in Colin Hanks’ bucket and he said ‘thank you very much,’” - but we went for the more explicit.

Mandy and Patti 3/29

Well, what can I say? It was Mandy and Patti for God’s sake! Amahzing - as Seth would say. No, they weren’t vocally perfect, but who cares? Even from a mile away - at least it seemed that way from our next-to-last-row fourth balcony seats - you couldn’t help but be knocked back by those personalities. Yes, both voices show the wear of long and prolific careers, but so what? The only time I don’t cringe at “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” is hearing Patti perform it. And while she does have that crazy belt / head voice split (and some very “creative” vowels) with absolutely no mix whatsoever, you forgive her. She’s earned the right not to have a mix. Mandy, of course, is Mandy. And I think you either love or hate that. Believe me, I’ve gone through phases of both, but regardless your opinion, you really have to respect the man’s intensity and commitment on stage. This man does not phone it in. Who knew funny could be intense? Together, well, they just have chemistry. They’ve both almost grown into Forbidden Broadway characterizations of themselves, but I almost prefer it to the conservatory cookie cutter musical theatre performers we get nowadays. Mandy and Patti can enthrall an audience: Technically perfect? - no - but fully engaging? - yes.

And now for my rant. (Please skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to hear me bitch and moan.) These two are the last vestige of what I consider true Broadway personalities. Now we’re stuck with triple threat automatons. They are all “good,” but not very interesting individually. I mean, you can’t just be an excellent singer/actor any more, you also need to have a triple pirouette in your back pocket. And except for some rare exceptions, this just leads to performers that are good at everything, but don’t excel at any one thing.

Back to the concert - last night’s program consisted of standards, peppered with a few novelty numbers. And each act was anchored by a mini-musical complete with the truncated book scenes - South Pacific in act one and Carousel in act two. It was a treat to see these two, who in real life would never in a million zillion years be cast in these parts, sink their teeth into classic roles. I can almost hear Mandy telling Patti in rehearsal, “Let’s show ‘em how they SHOULD be performed.” What a trip to see Patti as an “Arkansas hick” and Mandy as the brutal Billy Bigelow. Sure, not ideal casting, but they made it work - Tim Gunn would be proud.

My fave moments: Ann Reinking’s chair-ography in “April in Fairbanks,” Patti’s “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” Mandy’s “Franklin Shepard Inc” and the encore duets “You’re Just in Love” and “Coffee in a Cardboard Cup.”

Impressionism 3/7

Well, it’s been over three weeks since I saw this one, but I have been just a tad busy (see multiple posts below). However, in the wake of today’s awful reviews, I thought I’d just throw in my two cents. Yes, the reviews have been unanimously bad - I think one called it a “pretentious bore.” Ouch. I consider myself a pretty tough critic, but I think these reviews are way too harsh. I’m not saying it’s Shakespeare, but the play has it’s moments. I mean, any work that moves me almost to tears can’t be all that bad. And before you even say it, yes, I cry at just about any scene in any play or movie involving death or marriage, but even Trish got wet-eyed at the plays final moments.

To be fair, we saw it in early previews. At that time, both Trish and I thought the first act was way too long and rambling and needed some judicious editing. Fast forward a week later, the producers announce they are moving the opening date back by one week and that they are cutting the play down to a 90-minute one act. We definitely should become show doctors.

What really prompted us to check out the play are its two leads, Jeremy Irons and Joan Allen (with the added bonus of hottie Michael T. Weiss). Though I love Allen on the big screen, she seemed a bit one-note and well, really loud. I mean, it was great that she projected into that big house, but after a while it seemed she only had one volume setting. She definitely had some lovely moments, but the plays convention of the two leads playing multiple characters didn’t really work. Her characters were so similar that it was almost distracting and somewhat confusing. Jeremy Irons is an acting God. He was natural and quirky and always interesting. And despite the horrendous reviews, I think the last half hour of the play is pretty damn good; especially the last scene in which all the characters discuss the meaning of one of the paintings in the shop.

I’m sure the reviews will doom this play to an early closing, but I don’t know if it deserves the venom that it seems to be inspiring. Perhaps I was in a forgiving mood the night we saw it? Oh well, it was totally worth it to see these stage and screen veterans on live. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age.

Day from hell - callbacks

An act and a half of Beauty and the Beast, five hours of callbacks for On The Town and then two more hours of debating about casting - need I say more? Well, I’m going to anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my B&B kids and they deserve the huge crowds and audience adulation they receive, but you try sitting through any show seven times in a row daily. I don’t care what it is or who’s in it! Well, maybe if Audra was in it I could manage, but even after seven nights of her, I’d be saying, “Bring it, girlfriend.”

Worse was our callback. The talent level this year was freakishly high. There are going to be some pissed off kids after casting comes out. The problem, which I guess is a “problem” that any director would love to have, is that there are literally three, four and in some cases five kids that could kick-ass in any one of the several lead roles. Unfortunately, the show is just too big to double cast all the roles and still expect to get up and running in under three weeks.

Our main problem this year is that several kids were obviously campaigning for specific roles. In theory, this isn’t really a problem, except for the fact that the same kids then purposely did a sh*tty job at the callbacks for the roles they didn’t want. Now, I understand these kids are young and inexperienced - and I don’t mean stage experience, I mean life and professional experience. But really? If these kids had any real balls, they’d be honest and just say, “I appreciate you thinking of me for such-and-such, but I’d only like to be considered for so-and-so.” Please, I’ve gone to auditions and specified what roles I’d be interested in. And yes, sometimes I’ve walked away empty-handed, but at least I walked away with integrity and knowledge that the producers/directors can respect me for being up front. And of course, just because YOU think you’d be perfect for something, doesn’t mean you are. If I’ve learned anything from my years of performing and auditioning, it’s that there’s always someone just as talented (and usually better looking and with tighter abs - LOL) just waiting for you to f*ck up - so why f*ck up intentionally?

But alas, we’re not hiring actors for a professional production and these kids are paying to be in our production. But it’s still annoying. We’ve known these kids for years and know their talent and capabilities. It’s quite naïve of them to think they’re fooling us. *Sigh* One day it will bite them in the a*s when this audition “method” backfires and they just don’t get hired at all. Oh well, live and learn.

B&B opening night

After much nail-biting and hundreds of dollars spent in train tickets and cab fare, B&B finally opened last night to an extremely enthusiastic audience. I have to give the kids props for pushing through some extremely adverse conditions. And frankly, I was surprised by the audience reaction at times. Not that I don’t think they deserve it, but it really never occurred to me - certainly not while choreographing either "Gaston" or "Be Our Guest" - that these numbers would garner mid-number applause. I can honestly say that I did not intend to build this into the numbers. More than anything, I guess it has to do with expectation. If I’m to believe the stories of past productions, it seems that dancing has not been the drama department’s strong point. I guess if you don’t expect memorable choreography, then even my somewhat rudimentary attempt (perhaps not my most difficult work, due to the lack of trained dancers in the cast) must have really been a happy surprise for the audience. It was truly a joy, even for a jaded old bitch like me, to see the wide-eyed shock of the cast after the audience’s seemingly endless ovation following "Be Our Guest." Granted, how can you not clap for dancing silverware and napkins?

I’m happy with what I was able to get out of the cast, but also somewhat disappointed knowing that before snow days and scheduling changes, I’d have probably had at least an additional three or four rehearsals. I guess as an artist, you always feel like you’re trying to perfect your work even if your audience seems satisfied with the final product. If you’re not, you’re probably not a very good artist or you’re just a stuck-up asshole (or probably both).

B&B rant

I guess “mild frustration” would best describe my core emotional state during most of tech rehearsals for Beauty and the Beast, which I’m choreographing for South Plainfield High School. This tech week has been unlike any other I’ve ever experienced in my theatrical life - mainly because I didn’t have anything to do. Yes, I attended rehearsals everyday this week, but the technical aspect was so overwhelming that no actual “rehearsing” took place. Because of the overwhelming technical demands of the show, virtually no performance issues were addressed during tech week - not a single real acting note. I mean, there was the perfunctory, “find your light” or “can you play that more stage left”, but nothing specific about characterization or cleanliness of blocking.

I’m accustomed to the cast and directors sitting down together at the end of each rehearsal and going through their list of performance notes with the cast as a group, but that didn't happened. I had a pad full of notes, but didn’t have an opportunity to give them out. So last night, I finally decided to take initiative and give individual notes before the last run-through. Mistake. These kids were looking at me like I had three heads. Have they never gotten notes before? It was so weird. Our kids - the ones who work with us in the operas and in the summer - actually come up to us and ask us if we have notes for them. They think there’s something wrong if we don’t give them notes. Did this cast think they were perfect? I hope not. It was so weird.

I continued anyway, even though some of the cast (i.e. the leads - talk about big-fish-little-pond syndrome) were definitely giving off the “how-dare-you-give-me-performance-notes” vibe. These same “actors” would hang their heads in shame were they to witness the performances of our conservatory kids. I’ve never directed a group of people, kids included, that didn’t want suggestions as to how to improve their performance. I mean, we - the Pineda’s - continue to give notes and make changes through an entire run of a show. Okay, so we’re probably a bit extreme in the opposite direction, but come on, these kids had no note sessions the entire week before opening? That’s just not normal. Suffice it to say, I didn’t give out all my notes. It was just too much work and the kids didn’t really seem to care that I was trying to help them anyway. To be fair, that’s a bit of a generalization. A few - very few - students (mainly non-leads) were open to my notes and suggestions. But I was just so frustrated that I basically gave up. The last thing I need after a nine-hour work day is to be snubbed by a high school student who doesn’t think someone with a decade of professional theater experience and conservatory training can possibly give them any insight into their performance. That probably sounds harsh, but I don’t get paid enough to force these kids to listen to me. At least I have a personal relationship with our conservatory kids, so I’m willing to push a little harder.

I cannot wait until tomorrow when the show finally opens. Then I can get some of my weekends back, at least until Magic Flute rehearsals begin next week.

South Plainfield’s B&B curse - here’s the short list of “problems” that have plagued this production:

• Over 20 people dropped out since initial casting.
• We lost at least two weeks of rehearsal because the administration didn’t bother to tell the director she couldn’t use the auditorium during some fire alarm upgrades (not to mention a couple of snow days).
• The opening date was moved up one week to accommodate another event that needed use of the full stage.
• The set designer’s wife was mugged at knife point in the school parking lot during a rehearsal.
• The student playing Gaston was expelled (don’t ask) less than a week before opening and had to be replaced by a student who graduated two years ago.
• The nearly all student orchestra had basically no rehearsal, so tempos were painfully too slow and un-danceable.