DVR and the Biggest Loser

DVR is both a blessing and a curse. Yes, I’m grateful to get rid of my dusty old shoe box filled with scratchy unlabeled VHS tapes, but now I’m faced with a new dilemma - too many choices. I mean, the option to record two shows at the same time? That’s just crazy talk. And seriously, unless you’re a pathetic loser, there isn’t enough time in the day to watch all those shows. Trish and I have resorted to “marathon nights” where we stay up until 2AM watching four or five episodes of one show (which, I guess, makes us pathetic losers?). Of course, that puts us further behind since we have to record the shows we’re missing while we’re trying to catch up. Life was so much easier when there were only thirteen channels and no cable. Do teenagers today even know what rabbit ears are?

Now I never watch anything on the night it actually airs. So on the rare occasion that I’m watching something live, it takes me two or three frustrating attempts trying to fast forward through the commercials before I realize, “Oh, I’m actually watching the show live.” Why is my life so difficult? (Please note tone of sarcasm) Anyway, a couple of days ago I was trying to catch up on some random shows that have been on the DVR queue forever. I don’t know if it was that particular combination of shows or if it was just that time of the month for me, but I could not stop crying. Yes, I audibly wept through The Biggest Loser, Grey’s Anatomy and Michael J. Fox’s TV special about optimism. Now that I think about it, I pretty much asked for it. I mean, first, an injured, overweight dad forces himself to complete a marathon even though he looks like he’s going to die because he wants to prove something to his overweight teenage son. Then a commitment-phobe holds an impromptu wedding for his dying girlfriend. And lastly, everyone’s favorite Back to the Future star discusses how he still manages to stay optimistic and positive though slowly losing his motor functions to a debilitating disease. Yikes! There’s nothing like a light evening of entertainment at home, right? And as Trish often says, I do have quite a large vagina. Come to think of it, who needs a therapist? I got to work through my weight issues (I’m in mourning for the loss of my 32” waist), commitment/dating issues (single for almost five years now) and mortality issues (preparing for the big four-oh next year) all in one four-hour mega-session on the couch. Granted, it was my living room couch and not the therapist’s couch. The only thing that would have made the evening more perfect? A pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and a Papa John’s pizza. A girl can dream.