After being bombarded with year-end stories and articles from every media outlet and publication on the planet, I thought I’d add to the white noise with my own truly insignificant (well, not to me) Year End Wrap-Up! So if you haven’t been keeping up with my blog, it’s OK. I won’t think any less of you, loser.
Well, from the sidebar you can see that I spend, and in some cases waste, much of my hard(ly)-earned paycheck on shows. I was thinking of listing my top ten theatrical experiences, but sadly upon review, couldn’t find five truly outstanding performances to list. So in no particular order, my best for the year are:
Ragtime, Broadway revival - Will we ever hear a true legit score on Broadway again that isn’t a revival? It’s pretty f*cking depressing that having too much vocal training is now a detriment to casting. The only way this revival could be any better would be to get Audra to reprise her performance as Sarah.
August: Osage County, Broadway - Any show where I get to see Mrs. Claire Huxtable stumble around in a drug-induced haze rates high on my richter scale. Add some incest, suicide, racism and infidelity in the mix and I call that entertainment - or a typical week with the Pineda family - minus the incest, of course. Even we have standards.
Guys and Dolls, Scotch Plains HS - Yes, I am referring to a high school production and not the mediocre Broadway revival from earlier this year. Why? Because it took a high school production to reassure me that million dollar sets cannot hide bad material, direction or casting. I was even jealous watching it, thinking it was much better - and it pains me to say it - than many Pineda productions. High school directors take note, a chorus aimlessly standing about upstage does not constitute “direction.”
And the worst production of 2009? Drum roll please - the Broadway revival of Bye, Bye Birdie. What an embarrassment. I permanently damaged the flesh around Trish's knee from constantly clutching it in shock and horror. Sure, John Stamos and Gina Gershon are hot, but dancers? Not so much. Sadly, the highlight of the evening was checking out the beautiful state of the art urinals in the theater's newly renovated bathroom. Yes, the show was that bad.
Looking back, I don’t understand how I made it through the year without collapsing. I directed/choreographed the opera company’s Magic Flute and Dido and Aeneas, choreographed Beauty and the Beast for South Plainfield HS and co-directed and did some musical staging for the conservatory’s On The Town. And as always, the Pineda family performed benefit concerts throughout the year to help pay for our summer house in Cancun - NOT! All of this, of course, while trying to stay awake at my regular nine to five at Morgan Stanley.
Pineda Lyric Opera finally received its non-profit 501(c)(3) letter earlier this year, so we now have a Board of Directors and are all official and sh*t. This has been a long time in coming and we can finally start begging for donations. That means you’d better start sending us those fat checks. We know where you live.
This year also marks the last year I can say I’m in my 30’s. Yikes! Is it really possible we are now starting to send kids off to college? And that even after working with us for years, these same kids STILL want to pursue careers in the arts? It’s scary to think that in the next decade there will be a slew of actors coming to NYC who are graduates of the Pineda Conservatory. Broadway, you have been warned.
As for resolutions - I guess I’d like to finally take a vacation that’s more than just a long weekend, preferably somewhere warm with palm trees and cabana boys in thongs. I’d also like to hit the gym again and get rid of the spare tire I’ve acquired over the last year. Maybe luxuriously lounging in my caftan while chowing down on pizza and ice cream during The Biggest Loser wasn’t the most ideal fitness regime. Other than that, I guess 2010 will be full of directing, performing, working (a real job) and more b*tching.
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