Happy VD, Racist Ranting and The Color Purple

Why are ethnic people late for everything? I know I’m making a blanket statement and it seems racist and all, but really, why? I saw The Color Purple yesterday (visit #2, #1 was with the “way-too-pretty-to-play-Celie” LaChanze) because my sister wanted to catch it before it closed. And because an acquaintance, Montego Glover, is the current Nettie - she’s faboo, by the way. No exaggeration, a steady trickle of latecomers arrived through the first forty minutes of the first act. The first forty minutes! And these latecomers didn’t seem apologetic at all, in fact, they seemed downright proud of their lateness, strutting up the aisle, taking their sweet time and then making the whole row stand up (or in our case, half the row got up and huddled in the aisle while two ladies made there way into the middle of the row). If you’re going to be late at least be discrete about it, hurry up and keep your head down so as not to block the people behind you who managed to get to the theater on time. More confusing was the signage conspicuously placed in the lobby stating that latecomers would not be seated. Lies! And how are signs inside the lobby of the theater going to discourage latecomers? Isn’t it sort of warning them after the fact? I know you can't control traffic or the weather or the subway, but I distinctly remember last month leaving the apartment late to a performance in the city, and on our way to the subway Trish and I realized we were going to be at least fifteen minutes late (FYI: show was Next to Normal). We promptly turned around, marched home, got in our PJ's and settled in for a TV night. We bought tickets for another performance and ate the cost. Why? Because it's disrespectful to the actors and to the other audience members. Granted, we didn't pay $120 a ticket, but does a high ticket price buy you the right to be rude and/or disrespectful? I don't think so.

And trust me, I’m not a racist. I say nasty things about everyone regardless of race. That said, Filipinos are just as bad as the heavily African-American audience at the theater last night - maybe even worse. Sometimes I think it must be a survival gene passed on from caveman days. The “early bird’s” didn’t catch the worm, they got eaten by a dinosaur, thus clearing the way for the latecomers who could tip-toe past the T Rex who was sleeping off the meal.

Anyhoo, enough racial mudslinging - about the show - way better than I had remembered from my first visit. Although I still find most of the music incongruous with the period and material, it sure is a hell of a lot of fun to listen to. Zonya Love was quite good as Celie, with a very believable emotional and physical arc. Her singing, though adequate, didn’t really blow me away, but she made up for it with her commitment and charm. I was most excited to see Chaka Khan but she was being sort of diva and actually waited for entrance applause before she said her first lines - she literally stood there and waited until people started clapping before she would say anything. Sad. Even sadder, she really can’t act and was mostly giving generic attitude rather than playing any specific objectives. She was sassy but ultimately forgettable. And although her voice is pretty amazing, she has mush mouth and I couldn’t understand half of what she was saying or singing. Bebe Winans came off better, but his character is somewhat underwritten. There was palpable chemistry between Bebe and Chaka that ultimately made up for some of Chaka’s weaknesses. Angela Robinson was pretty spectacular as Shug and I might actual prefer her portrayal over her much lauded predecessor, Elisabeth Withers-Mendes. The ensemble was giving their all, no “long-run-it is” in this cast, and I give props to American Idol, Lakisha, who sang and acted up a storm as one of the church ladies, showing twice as much personality than I ever witnessed from her on Idol. Now waiting anxiously, but with mixed feelings, for the next tenant at the Broadway Theater, Shrek, The Musical.

On a side note, it was Valentine's Day and since Trish nor I had any reason to celebrate, we ended up going to Applebee's, yes, Applebee's. Hear me out. We assumed that any halfway decent restaurant would be a mob scene, so we tried to think of the least romantic restaurant in town, thus, Applebee's. I guess our idea of romantic is way different than the average New Yorker because that place was hopping. A half hour wait for Applebee's!? And they mark that sh*t up for the city. Ten bucks for a bowl of mac and cheese? What ev's.