Totally Inappropriate Rant or Why Public Transportation Sucks or I'm Just A Little Bit Racist

First off, Happy Birthday to my always youthful and gorgeous friend, Jaygee. I hope she got sloppy drunk and sick on BBQ wings last night at her party. Unfortunately, the Gods have decided to keep us separated by smiting the N train last night. After spending half an hour sitting two stops away from Queensborough Plaza due to a “stalled train,” Trish and I decided that drunken debauchery was not in the cards for us and we hoofed it to the other side of the tracks to head home. Again, it seemed those wacky Gods wanted us to get off our lazy asses and get some exercise, because a train failed to appear on the Queens-bound side as well. Which makes me highly suspect of that “stalled train” excuse. A stalled train in BOTH directions? Really? More like some bored, sadistic conductor getting his rocks off, I suspect. Anyway, we decided to walk home - yes, walk - instead of waiting for a train that was obviously never going to arrive. As luck would have it, a bus pulled up just as we were stepping onto the street. But since it was Let’s-Make-Fausto’s-Life-Miserable Day (currently only celebrated in Queens, but I believe it will be going National any day now), it was jam-packed with annoyed subway patrons. The inside of the bus looked like one huge poofy coat with twenty random arms sticking out of it. When the doors opened, half a person literally spilled out. Of course, some ghetto Latina teenager, wearing requisite silver hoop earrings the size of basketballs and a big poofy coat as well (yeah, I know that’s totally inappropriate, so please feel free to set Al Sharpton’s bag of crazy on my ass), decided she was going to get on that bus if it killed her and everyone else and started telling people to, “Move in, yo.” She then proceeded to push her way into the bulging puff of padded coats hanging out the door. Oddly enough, she was miraculously sucked into the mass of padding and arms to become one with the mother-coat and the bus took off for their home planet of Poofcoatopia. Which I think is somewhere in the South Bronx by way of the Tri-Borough bridge. Suffice it to say, we continued to walk, taking full advantage of the beautifully mild evening, compliments of our depleted ozone layer; or what President Bush most likely refers to as a "figment of the liberal imagination." Well, he better not be asking to sleep on my couch when Texas is under water, although I guess Queens will probably be as well. Can you tell I’m just a bit annoyed by how the whole evening progressed? Did I mention that I lost my cell phone the other day as did Trish? Oh, yes, I think I did. I am not in a good mood this week! Oh well, I do enjoying basking in cynicism and anger once in a while, I think it's healthy! And tres New York. Sigh. Back to surfing the...I mean "working."