I Love Target!

So just about quitting time this afternoon I get an email from Trish suggesting a trip to Target. She was apparently bored and going stir crazy being cooped up in the apartment all day. You have to understand that Trish is a textbook case shopoholic. And due to the loss of her debit card last week (along with her wallet and drivers license) I’m sure she must have also been suffering severe retail withdrawal symptoms. Her new card arrived in the mail the other day and I’m sure her fingers were just itching to sign it and slid it through a scanner.

We decided to make it a full-out white trash evening, which is kind of a misnomer, considering most of the foot traffic at the Queens Target probably consists of illegal aliens. I mean, there is nary a white face to be seen in that neck of the woods. Anyway, we decided that a lovely dinner at Taco Bell would fit our evening’s theme perfectly. So after I got home, we jumped into the van and headed out to scenic Northern Boulevard. Our eyes, as always, were way bigger than our stomachs and our tray was piled high with -itos and -itas. And whatever marketing genius has convinced the American public that Taco Bell’s fast food is “healthy” fast food ought to receive a Noble Prize in some category (come on - if Al can win one for basically writing a souped up term paper, anyone can). I always forget how tasty the food is there. If only it was as pleasant on the way in as it is on the way out.

I know we are always bombarded by reports of how big box retail is the devil, but I love me a Target fix every couple of weeks. And don’t tell Michael Moore, but I love me a Walmart Superstore, too. There is just something truly magical and completely All-American about being able to buy panties, artisanal chocolate, Lysol and a CD player all under one joyous roof! And don’t even get me started on the super cool shopping cart escalator at the Queen’s store, magical.

Again, the idea that you can buy anything you want under one roof is freakin’ awesome. We wandered around that store for almost two hours without an agenda. Just aimlessly wandering the aisles waiting for something to jump out and scream, “Buy me now!” We ended up with a cart of completely random items - chocolate, T-shirts, Christmas cards, candles, shampoo, a belt, a vacuum - oddly, we didn’t leave with the one item that Trish actually was looking for, a shelving unit. Oh well, that means we just have to look for the closest Walmart.